Definitely Not Disney
by Shadow Hunt
Summary: /Slash/ Being sent to Forks for a Muggle Studies project was unexpected. Meeting a group of vampires at his new muggle school was shocking. But falling in love with one of them? That was insane. Too bad a few people came to the wrong conclusions. HP/EC
1. Prologue

**WARNING: THIS IS SLASH. **

You have a choice to read this and accept it for what it is. If you cannot and instead leave a flame after being warned of what this story is, you are declaring yourself to be illiterate due to your inability to understand that very bold and very obvious warning directly above this.

**If you do like slash as much as I do, then please read on (and review)! I'm sure you will love the slash I've cooked up!**

_**Disclaimer**_: I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

_**Summary**_: Being sent to Forks for a Muggles Studies project was not expected. Meeting a group of vampires at his muggle school was not expected. Falling in love with one of them was _definitely_ not expected. But he did all three.

_**A/N**__:_ So this is my first story I've posted on Fanfcition for three years (My other two are on a different account- which is abandoned due to my embarrassment of my immaturity in my writing) and I'm dreadfully worried. I adore reviews and criticism especially, and I will make a point to respond to them all. You guys are, after all, the only reward we Fanfiction writers can hope for.

**Ignores the epilogue of Harry Potter and of course almost everything in Twilight, except for some of the first book. **

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**Definitely Not Disney  
**_By Shadow Hunt_

**Prologue**

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Harry Potter never had a normal life, whether it was due to his own doing or that of another; it spelled out Weird with a capital 'W'. Perhaps a bit of Chaos too, with a touch of Madness could be read in the story of Harry's life. Though whatever it read, the point being is that Harry Potter expected the unexpected even in things that really shouldn't have a surprise to give him. Therefore, when his repeat of seventh year at Hogwarts came around, just after the fall of the feared Lord Voldemort, he was prepared for some twist in his story, as if there weren't enough already.

The twist that came though was not anything a man of eighteen, no matter how seasoned in war he was, could truly prepare himself for. Sure, he had his spells and tricks and even a few potions to shield and ready him for the worst of ploys, but what he found himself facing in the stuffy classroom belonging to the Muggle Studies teacher, was nothing a spell could fix. At least, no spell that wouldn't have more consequences than pros for Harry, such as an even stuffier and more frightening cell in Azkaban or the lesser demon, but just as equally frightening, being expelled from Hogwarts.

Now what devastating event could make such a hero even consider spells at such a dark level you ask? The answer, which if you would be patient will come in due time, is actually quite simple and seemingly harmless. In fact, most of the students around Harry when the batty teacher told them the news were ecstatic and clearly eager for the experience. An experience, Harry knew, that no matter how knowledgeable it seemed to be at its forefront, could only lead to disaster of the worst kind.

How wrong he was.

Before the rest of such a heartwarming story is revealed though, perhaps you should read the events that played out before The-Boy-Who-Lived took his farthest journey and met his greatest treasure, since they are quite interesting if not a tad bit humorous. For you have an embarrassed red head just as willing to hex the teacher's knickers off as Harry, a bossy brunette who found it her goal in life to prove to Harry that this experience would only bring good, and two knowing smiles from two very different people. Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom are after all different in almost every way except for their hearts, which both love and wish the best for young Harry. They knew that he hadn't yet fully realized how deep their love goes, but they both knew that he would discover it in due time. Hopefully from this experience, but that was only a hope before Harry actually left for America.

The first event happened in the Muggles Studies classroom, which started the first major turn in Harry's story. That was where the teacher informed them of a trip each of them would be taking in one month for a mandatory semester, followed by an optional second semester for extra credit if they so wished (Which Harry didn't and swore he never would). Each trip would be different for each person, she had said, for no one person was going to be even in the same country as another in that classroom. This of course was where little red flags begun to spring in Harry's mind, but the alarms didn't start ringing until he walked up to the front of he classroom and drew 'Forks, Washington' from the hat on the table.

He panicked, and in that panic the students taking Muggle Studies and their teacher learned that their great savior knew quite a lot more curse words then they thought he knew. The fact was, that they had somehow developed a pure image of Harry in their minds after he felled the Dark Lord, even considering how many facts there had been throughout the many years that contradicted that image. Now though, they couldn't ignore the angered presence of the dark haired boy yelling at his teacher at the insanity of this project. He questioned many things and received a few nods and twice as many whimpers as a response. The only thing he asked which received a true answer was whether the Headmistress had confirmed such an outrageous _thing_. He was told to ask her himself, and when he did later that day, he knew that there was nothing he could do to get out of this because the Headmistress had indeed agreed and even supported the project.

But back to the classroom after Harry had settled down and waited in his seat to hear the terms of the trips they were to take. They ended up being very simple all things considering. Before anything was said though, they were lectured on how to keep muggles ignorant of magic, which all knew of and had heard more times then they had fingers. Then came what the project was, and with it a harsh speech from their teacher Mrs. Beckley where she said, "You have been assigned to one random town in one random country where you will stay with a muggle family as a foreign exchange student attending the closest muggle school." There was more that had been said of course, but the base of it all was that. Next was the terms specific to the project, they are as followed: No magic unless in dire need, no magical artifacts unless they can be taken for a muggle item, no traveling away from where you are assigned, no failing any of the muggle subjects since they did actually count, no skipping any NEWT practice exams which they were to have once a week to make sure they still studied, to follow the country's laws, and not to do anything they would need to have a parents permission for, such as marriage. (The last being the cause they had stop this project a little under forty years ago.)

The next event happened when Harry returned to the Gryffindor common room after seeing the Headmistress about the project. By this time he was weary and slightly depressed at how stupid he was to sign up for Muggles Studies instead of Divination or Runes, the first being where Ron went and the second to where Hermione went. He knew at the time that it was stupid to sign up for a new class in his seventh year, but he had figured that since he was raised by muggles (no matter how snobbish those muggles were) he would do fine. He had been right about knowing most of what was being taught, but if he had known about this project beforehand he would have thrown out his perfect scores for more creative ones in Divination. At least then he wouldn't have to leave his friends for a whole bloody semester.

Young Harry did not go to bed right away like he had wanted to, but instead was ushered to the fireplace by a worried Hermione. It was here that he told her and Ron, who had stopped playing exploding saps with Dean to listen in, of his troubles. It was also there that Ron had written a very worded letter to his mum to try and get her to talk McGonagall out of her support for this project on behalf of his best mate. The fiery redhead received a response from his mum two days latter in the form of a howler, explaining to him that she had taken this trip herself and highly approved of it. That was Ron's last and only try to help Harry, but no one could honestly blame him after thirty minutes of listening to Mrs. Weasley in the Great Hall during breakfast.

After that, the events get quite muddled. At some point in time Harry learned that Luna was to be going to Tokyo, Japan while Neville was going to Berlin, Germany, both places Harry found himself being jealous over, and therefore heavily avoided both of them. His only thought on that was how unfair it was that he got some small, hillbilly town in the middle of nowhere whereas Luna and Neville got exciting towns where they could explore to no end and find new things with each blink. About two weeks after this, Harry found the two of them in the library holding hands while they finished their Transfiguration homework. There he apologized profusely and swore to never to ignore them again and they accepted his apology with two heartfelt laughs, but only after making Harry promise to write them each once a week and update them on his happenings.

Some where before his apology to Luna and Neville, he apologized to Hermione for yelling at her after one of her lectures on how such an experience would benefit him. He ignored her for only two days before cracking, mostly because he needed potions help, but the point is that he came back to Hermione even though she didn't come back to him until a day after the Luna and Neville apology. There she explained that though her anger had resided the night after he exploded at her, she figured it would take her absence as well as his two other friends to make him realize how irrational he was being about the Muggle Studies trip. And he had grudgingly admitted that he had been irrational so with a hug and a round of butterbears for all, he came to accept that the trip was just as inevitable as death.

There is still one event left before the farewell feast for Harry's Muggles Studies class, and this is perhaps the oddest one to date. It was only three days before Harry was to leave and it happened while he was sending off a school owl for some last minute items for his stay in Forks, Washington. Draco Malfoy, Harry's long time rival and recent ally, came into the Owlery with a heavy sigh, clearly not expecting the green eyed boy to be up there as well. He even said so upon hearing Harry's own exclamation of shock.

"Well I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that this is the last time you'll be seeing me unexpectedly for a long while. Muggle Studies trip, I'm sure you've heard." Was what Harry had curtly told Draco, figuring that the blonde haired menace would be a good source to vent his frustration.

Draco, unknowingly to Harry, thought the same thing when he retorted, "Of course I have Potter. That's all anyone can talk about and I'm certainly not deaf."

To cut a long story short, what aspired up there underneath the nests of the many owls was the blossoming of a friendship no one would have ever guessed possible. It started with a small truce and went into the expected argument before both realized that they were living in a changed society, one where they could easily be friends without punishment from either the Dark or Light side. They knew that this friendship would be at the least a bit rocky, but they started it and now, even when old and gray, they remain friends where others have not.

So now to the final event before Harry left for the dreaded town of Forks; the farewell feast and the apparation to the muggle airport they were to meet their new family. The feast was quaint with only one speech from the Headmistress saying that she would see them all in a few months and another by the hated, at least by Harry, Muggles Studies teacher, who had nothing more to say than to repeat words said in class, mostly warnings.

It was what happened afterwards, in the Quidditch pitch under the warming rays of the afternoon sun that was to be remembered. It was like a ceremony, and yet casual enough to be passed for just another goodbye. There were banners of all colors and tears of all kinds as the students of Hogwarts watched fifteen young adults and one Harry Potter walk towards the apparation point in the center of the field. Each one of the fifteen students had their pockets full of their shrunken possessions and on their shoulder or in their hands their familiar. This of course excluded Harry Potter for even though he carried his possessions safely, his familiar Hedwig had died in the war against the Dark Lord and he had yet to buy another. It wasn't until his name was called for him to leave that Draco Malfoy ran across the field, carrying a bundle in his arms. This bundle, which Harry soon discovered to be a snake, was handed over to him in silence, for even the crowd in the stands was in as much of a shock as Harry.

"Why?" Harry had asked the blonde in front of him, confusion written all over. He held the snake tenderly, looking at its sleeping form in amazement at its beautiful black skin, tinted blue in the sun. It reminded him of the lake's water under the gleaming surface, where the seaweed swayed with the currents.

The response he was given was this, "So you don't forget." Harry spent much time after that thinking on the meaning of those four words, and it wasn't until many years later that Draco told him that it meant two things. One, so he never forgot the wizarding world and the wonders and horrors it brought, and two, so he never forgot Draco. He didn't know it then that Draco's only fear, as long as the blond could remember, was to be forgotten in the pages of history.

Harry only had time for a quick thank you before McGonagall hurried him to center field, where he apparated with a small wave in the general direction of where Hermione and Ron sat watching in farewell tears. What met his eyes next was a poster for a trip to Disney World with a giant mouse head grinning only inches from his emerald eyes. He would have panicked if a voice had not asked to see his regulation passport from behind him. After a few technicalities, he was assured that he hadn't messed up apparrating and was in fact in Washington, not Disney World (even though part of him wished he was because anything was better than _Forks_), and that his new family was waiting for him at gate A13. He had thought that number only proved what a bad idea this project was when he was told that, but come years later, he has grown fond of the number for one reason or another.

At gate A13 he met his two new family members, both of whom smiled energetically and welcomed him with hugs and an awkward kiss on the cheek from his new sister Bella.

At gate A13, exactly nine twenty one in the morning, he left the wizarding world.

And at that very gate and at that very moment in time, his life was sealed to the rainy clouds of Forks and with it, Edward Bloody Cullen.


	2. Chapter 1

**WARNING: THIS IS SLASH. **

_**Disclaimer**_: I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

_**A/N:**_ For those few of you that read the prologue within the first few hours of it being posted, I have added some information such as a_ new rule_ (Practice NEWT exams must be completed when sent) and changed the project frombeing the_ whole year to _be only for_ one semester, _and then with_ another optional one for extra credit_. There have also been a few more sentences added here and there, just to make it snazzy.

And of course, _**thank you**_ to all who read this story whether or not you review (though I much rather that you do)! I'm utterly shocked by the response I've gotten already! On a simple prologue no less! Also, a special shout and thank you out goes to MomoTessen for giving me the courage to post this.

Also, this chpater is still a bit off were the tenses are concerned but it's a whole heck of a lot better now.

_Updated 2/15/09 This chapter has now been beta-ed by **MistyFire**. You should really bow down to her greatness._

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**Definitely Not Disney  
**_By Shadow Hunt_

**Chapter One**

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A week had transpired since young Harry Potter had first set foot in gate A13, and besides a letter from Luna informing him of Neville's lost and regrown hand due to a screwy apparation, nothing exciting had happened. Sure, there were the whispers and stares he earned at his new and confused school, but he was use to them. And yes, there were those brave fangirls that greeted him in every class (most of them were the same girls each time he realized on the third day), but again, this was nothing new. Then of course, there was that pesky, 'secret' bet that formed between the girls on who would date the emerald eyed, onyx haired British Boy Wonder first, but Harry only added that one to his imaginary collection.

Obviously, none of those silly girls who had put names in the bet were seers, because no one even came close to the real answer. Though Harry swears to this day that he had heard two giggling girls musing about it in the library on his second day at school. For the first and only person Harry Potter had dated in Forks, if you discarded the vixen he had conspired with later that year to get the full attention of the name about to be said, was none other than the guy his new oddball sister was fancying at that moment in time.

Now that wasn't a name you complain? Too bad, so sad, just listen to a few events that caused Isabella Swan's little obsession and Harry's new resolution, and maybe you will guess his name. Besides, not knowing these few but vital events will surely cause you confusion later on when Harry's old life comes knocking on his door, quite literally at that.

Isabella, who hated that name her mother had given her on leaving the womb and therefore begged to be called Bella up until her most recent years, had moved to live with her father only a week before Harry himself came. You see, Charlie Swan had not expected either teen to show up on his doorstep. Though if asked about it, he would admit that he had been giddy at being notified a month earlier that he would have a temporary son. That did not mean that he had expected Harry, because like just said, he hadn't, at least not when he put his name down for houses willing to take in foreign exchange students almost four years ago. First of all, he had not known that he was the only one in their small town to do so, and second of all, he had thought that no one in their right mind would send a child to Forks.

But they sent him a son; that they did! And he had his daughter's old room changed to more manly colors out of his excitement. He even bought a football, because he thought he had heard somewhere about Brits and their love for the game. (Though he later came to realize that not only did Harry not play football, but that what the British called football was really American soccer.) It was only when he was boasting to his fellow policemen about Harry maybe two weeks before the British boy was to arrive, that he received a phone call from the daughter he had thought would never want to live with him again, informing him that yes, she in fact did.

So a distraught Charlie found himself back at home later that evening contemplating on what to do. He only had one bedroom to spare, but had two young teens coming to stay with him. And there was no way they were going to share the same bedroom. It wasn't until late the next day that he decided that moving was the only option, and so began his hunt for a new house. He found one in two days time and closed in one, so by the time Bella flew into Forks a week later, his new house was ready for her and her temporary brother.

The new house to Bella was odd at first but after seeing her old furniture in her new room, it began to feel like Charlie's old house again. When he had asked if it was, she had turned to him with a hug and a smile. "This is nice." She had told him and he awkwardly smiled back with a small pat on her back. Besides, the den would soon be sporting fresh new stains as the sport seasons came around, and that would surely make this place seem less strange and more homely. That was what she had told herself at least, but she knew that her true home was back in Phoenix, Arizona with a mother that had fallen prey to the claws of love, much like Bella would find herself doing on her first day of school.

That first day of school Bella Swan was the object of the rumor mill, but that was to be expected of course. It wasn't everyday the town of Forks saw a new face after all, the last one being tiny Robin Marshal, an orphan of only eight years. But she had long since been adopted and therefore is not in this story, so back to lunch on Bella's first day of school, where she first caught a glimpse of _him_.

And yes, _him_ is the very person whose name was skirted around earlier: Harry's first and only boyfriend and Bella's first but not last obsession.

He came into the lunchroom behind four others, each one just as picturesque and pale as the last. Bella only had time to be jealous of the blonde female and count two males and one other pixie-like vixen before she caught sight of a pair of eyes colored in a golden topaz and tinted with such deep emotions that she simply couldn't breathe. (In fact Jessica had to remind her to do so.) The man was in her mind perfect, with high cheekbones and a strong jaw line that only seemed to frame a pair of lips so luscious that they couldn't possibly belong to a male. But they did, she had reminded herself after the lunch bell had rung. With that thought, her obsession began.

"Bella come on! Can't be late for class on your first day of school." Angela Weber had called from her right, steering Bella towards her next class and temporarily making her forget of her growing obsession.

Though not only an hour latter did that obsession waver in her Biology class, where she had the luck to sit next to _him_. Yes, for whatever reason the only seat empty was right next to _him_, and for the life of her she could not guess why. If she had perhaps listened to the 'cute but not datable' Mike Newton or the 'annoying but somewhat likable' Jessica Stanley at lunch when they explained who the Cullens were, she would have known why. It was because even though everybody in Forks High School recognized the exquisiteness of _him_ and his four foster siblings, they were just as afraid of them.

"Hi." Bella had said meekly as she had taken her seat next to the brunette beauty, but when she noticed that he had only slid further away from her, she said no more. She had only watched in confusion as the man she had thought was perfection clutched his fists so tight they were white, though she took note that that wasn't far from his eerily pale complexion. When the bell rang for the next class, he had disappeared, almost as if by magic.

Luck later found its self working against poor brown eyed Bella when she had saw him in the office right after school, begging for a schedule change. He had wanted any class possible, just not Biology, anything but that class. Bella had nearly died right then and there after hearing her crush say that, because she obviously had to be the reason.

The lady behind the counter had looked worried and said, "I'm sorry Edward-" Satisfied now that his name has been breathed into the story of Harry Potter's life? "-but there is nothing I can do."

Bella had been sure she had made some sort of noise, most likely embarrassing and sounding most like a sob, for then her Edward was facing her, his gaze none the kind. With a few quick words to the lady, he had left the building and Bella behind with such a speed that Bella only had to blink and he was gone.

Away from her.

Away from her life, soul, and heart.

She wanted to cry.

But she had managed to hold the tears in until she made it up safely in her new and unfamiliar room, where she had locked her door and hid away from a father not knowing what to do with a depressed daughter. He had only hoped that his new son was better with emotions, because Renee, his ex-wife, had always told him that that was where he had lost her. He simply hadn't been able to comfort her properly, out of slight embarrassment and just pure clumsiness at it.

Charlie could not have been happier when he met Harry for the first time at gate A13, for seeing the hard face of a man and not a round, chubby one of a kid in need of consoling was more than he had hoped for. The only thing that had worried him about the teen was whether or not the brunette would be willing to help around the house (which still needed many touch ups) because of the rather fine clothes Harry was clad in. He later learned that Harry had only worn them so he wouldn't make a bad impression, and much rather preferred more baggy and casual clothes. Which meant of course, he was willing to get down and dirty with the paint rollers.

But now back to Harry on his second weekend in Forks, on the Saturday just after his first week at a muggle high school. He had just finished eating dinner with Charlie, a man he had decided was good and caring (being a policeman only further proved such); and Bella, who he had yet to figure out by then. She was a moody muggle he mused; lying back onto his dark blue comforter, but that was the only thing he had labeled as fact about her by then.

It seemed that she was heartbroken after not seeing her crush after two weeks, excluding a glimpse of him the Monday Harry had arrived at school. It also seemed that the second week "her Edward's" family disappeared as well, and that had upset her further. That was all she had spoken of on the matter, hinting that there were a few things she left out. But, as Harry had realized in a moment of clarity on Thursday morning, there couldn't be all that much since Bella had only been here for a day before her crush's sudden disappearance. He labeled it as a girl thing though, clearly remembering Lavender Brown's short-lived crush on Dean in their fourth year that had come suddenly and strongly but left her a week later.

Yet again he let the subject drop as he began to think of other things as his hand softly brushed the scales on his new familiar's back. He started silently thanking that he no longer spoke Parseltongue when his snake, which he had yet to name due to his uncertainty of its gender, started hissing at the window. Somehow from there his thoughts had veered dramatically and before Harry knew it he was dreaming of the taste of the chocolate frogs he would sorely miss in his time away from the wizarding world. Through that he was reminded of how Ginny use to giggle like a baby whenever he had given her one.

Now, it has yet to be explained the confusing matter that was Ginny Weasley. She was a short, fiery redhead only a year younger than Harry that had some way or another wormed her way into his heart much to the cheer of his best mate Ron and the rest of the Weasley family. But, what she was in his heart wasn't what he had thought it to be, which was his one true love. He had realized that soon after the fall of the Dark Lord, during a celebration where Mrs. Weasley had mentioned him and her daughter getting married in one of her drunken slurs. An emotion of disgust had filled him, and had taken him some time before he finally came to acknowledge what that emotion was exactly. Harry had broken up with Ginny that very day.

None of the Weasleys had been happy, for they had long been dreaming of their daughter and Harry being together and having their grandchildren. They had tried many tactics on trying to convince Harry otherwise, some of them even being on the verge of Slytherin, but none had worked. It wasn't until George had spoken up a month and a half later saying that he was happy that Harry seemed happy alone that the Weasleys finally let it go.

Shifting his thoughts to George made Harry's heart clench, knowing that there was no more Fred to complete George, and that in itself was the weirdest and hardest thing to see after the war was over for many of the survivors. Though before he fell into a pit of depression over the matter, he quickly shook his head and put his emotions into his mental cage. A cage, which Harry knew even then, he'd have to unlock at some point but he was afraid to do so. It wouldn't be until the most inconvenient time that the lock broke, and after it had, Harry would curse his stupidity yet again at making the cage in the first place.

This is when Bella came into his room, startling the wizard from his musings and forcing his eyes to take in the disheveled shape his new sister was in. She walked over to his bed and sat down cautiously on the edge of the mattress, looking at him with an emotion he wouldn't be able to place until after a few days of questioning the matter.

"Harry." She began, her fingers twiddling with the blanket for a few moments before she spoke again. "Have you ever been in love? I mean… the sort of love that just hits you and happens to stick? And you feel like you have to have him, no matter what, you just have to convince him to love you back?"

Lust at its finest, friends. Beware.

Now Harry and Bella had become friends over the past week, mostly due to the fact that if he didn't his stay here would be even worse, but either way, they were friends. Not best friends or even close friends, mind you, and that was why Harry didn't know how to respond to the girl in front of him. If it were Hermione, he would have spilled the first thing that had come to his mind (unless it was completely irrelevant), knowing that she preferred the truth more than anything. If it was Ron, and for some reason it was most of the time was, he would have said the sugar coated truth and some how turn it into a small joke. It didn't even have to be a good joke; just something that brought Ron a bit out of his moping so he could properly reevaluate the situation.

So what did he say? Why nothing at all, of course.

"No, I suppose you haven't." Bella mumbled with a sigh. "But I'll tell you, it's a horrible feeling to have that kind of love and know that the object of that love hates you enough to avoid you for two weeks after only one hello. Edward is just…" She sighed again, squeezing the blanket even more tightly. "It sucks, it really does."

Then, as quickly as she came, she left.

And so now you know of Bella's cavernous obsession, one that was completely irrational and caused quite a bit of damage before the end of it came. For the rest of Saturday night, Harry mistook Bella's feelings for a peculiar fancy. When Saturday turned to Sunday and Harry learned the muggle way to paint while Bella visited a friend at the hospital, he still didn't know. When Sunday turned to Monday though, he knew.

He knew because there was no way not to notice the way Bella's eyes had darted over to the silver Volvo as soon as she pulled into the student parking lot that morning, almost running into another car out of her shock. He knew because he had hopped out of the passenger seat as soon as Bella's new rusty, old truck stopped but some how Bella was already halfway towards her "love". He knew, because she had that same determined, love-struck face he had seen first on Ginny.

It was as Bella came to a halt out of confusion on what to do next, that Harry swore to himself that he would stop this obsession of hers before it brought both her and that gorgeous teen down. Because even though Harry had realized what a mistake he and Ginny were, he doubted Edward would. The other's subterranean eyes held too many nameless emotions to defend himself against Bella. He knew enough about the girl to know that she would give into her curiosity of her own feelings quite willingly, and therefore probably stalk the other. He always did have this uncanny knack for evaluating other people, just not Ginny apparently.

Harry had continued to look at Edward while he had made that promise to himself, trying to figure out those emotions that the other seemed to want to hide so much. There was fear and amazement, pain and happiness. Then there was something else, something so very odd for Harry to see on the other's enchantingly pale face, yet he knew he wouldn't look right without it. It was so familiar to Harry, that something. He struggled to place it, unconsciously knowing that it held a piece of a puzzle he didn't even know existed until some time later. And then he recognized it-

It was the want to kill.

And it was then that Harry realized that Edward wasn't looking at Bella anymore.

He was looking at Harry.

Harry's breath hitched and his heart sped up as he stared back into those golden topaz orbs that had surely been putting a spell on him. Otherwise he knew he could be able to look away. He knew he could, but somewhere in his mind he also knew the truth, and that was that those eyes were forever going to fascinate him. No matter if Harry knew that Edward wanted to kill him.

With a second thought, that scared the bloody shit out of him.

'_Bleeding hell.'_ Harry thought, backing up one step. _'He wants my blood!'_

Edward's eyes widened as soon as he thought that, and Harry didn't know why. The way the other took a step forward towards him was almost like he wanted to reassure Harry that he didn't wanted to rip his heart out. That still didn't stopped Harry from taking another step back, knowing from his experience with war that even though Edward was across the parking lot with Bella in between them, he could still kill Harry. Dying from having no heart wasn't something he planned to do just yet.

Needless to say, Edward didn't want to do any ripping, just sucking, but Harry only knew that the other wanted to kill him and without a clue as to why.

"Bella!" Harry called out, the hero complex he so wished to ignore coming back to him with an iron grip. She needed to get into the school while Edward was looking at him. The only thing that worried him was the other four beauties behind Edward, each with similar eyes and all looking at either him or Bella. This just screamed a bad situation. "Go to class Bella!" With those words she finally stopped looking at Edward with those helpless eyes and turned to Harry. He supposed she saw his fear, for she nodded and ran inside. It had been a relief to see that the other four didn't follow. Then he noticed that they now were all looking at him.

"Does he know?" Asked the largest male, cocking his head to the side and licking his lips with anticipation. Well Harry knew he knew a lot of things, but what the hell did they hope he not know he wondered. That they were a family of murderers? And he _really_ hoped that wasn't what they were hiding.

Unfortunately, it was.

But Harry didn't know that, not yet, so he watched with intrigue and fear as the pixie-like brunette shook her head, grinning for all she was worth. When Harry reflects back onto that one simple gestures now a days, he knows that that gesture should have scared him more than it did, because that little grin was what set off a chain of unfortunately fortunate events. They didn't all come immediately, but the one that had, left Harry incredibly embarrassed.

"You should really smile more often Harry! It makes your eyes _shine_!" She yelled with a giggle. The only problem with her saying that was he certainly wasn't smiling. If these things kept happening Harry guessed that he wouldn't for a long while. "Now run along unless you want Edward seeing the little problem you're about to get!"

Harry had no idea what she had been talking when she said that, but if they were letting him live then he sure as hell wasn't going to stay out there until they changed their minds. Besides, he didn't think he could take much more of Edward's burning stare, which he would like to note, had never left him for a second. So without another word, Harry shuffled across the parking lot in way where he hadn't gotten too close or showed them his back, both still big no-no's in his war book all these years later.

It wasn't until he walked into the building and leaned against the wall out of relief that he noticed that he indeed had a growing problem. He blushed as he looked down, silently thanking that short brunette for telling him to run off in time. But then his eyes had widened as he began to wonder on how exactly the girl had known he would be getting a stiffy, because he didn't think that it had been there before. Maybe a bit of one, sure, but he was wearing baggy enough pants and a long enough jacket so even now you'd have to be looking right there to realize it was tenting.

He dropped that though to wonder why he had one exactly, because though both girls, the pixie and the busty blonde, were and still are amazingly attractive, neither one had really stuck in his mind except for the obvious more frightening reasons. In fact, the only one that really could have done that was- he gasped, shaking his head quickly to get the name out of his head. But it seemed like Edward and those lovely eyes of his were stuck there, even after uselessly trying to stuff him into his mental cage. That left him with only one option; to imagine the Headmistress in her knickers getting drunk with an equally naked Mrs. Weasley. Relief filled him as his disgust at the image quickly erased all evidence of his arousal.

After that strange experience nothing more had happened at school except for Harry realizing that he had English class with the pixie, Alice, and her (Boyfriend? Husband? Harry didn't know) Jasper, two of the Cullen kids, both of whom had stared at him practically the whole time. There probably would have been something to happen at lunch too, but Harry had made a point to mysteriously disappear. Meaning he had cast a wandless Disillusionment charm on himself to follow Bella around the lunchroom silently and anonymously just to make sure that the Cullens didn't go after her in public.

Now he was at home helping Charlie move the den's furniture and at that very moment, laughing at a joke the older man had just told. "Being part of the fuzz definitely has its perks!" Harry said with another laugh as Charlie grinned at his British slang.

"That accent will never get old! " Charlie said with a grunt as he slid the coffee table closer to his new fireplace. Harry quickly put the box he was holding down to help. "Thanks Harry. After we get that couch moved, what do you say we go out to the diner? Bella said she had nibbled some when she got home so I don't think she'll be hungry."

Harry eagerly grinned up at his muggle caretaker. "Sure! I missed lunch today so I'm starving!"

Charlie given him an odd look at that. "You missed lunch? Why?"

Harry wasn't perfect, hell, he still isn't perfect and probably never will be. He had made a mistake telling Charlie that and now had to think of an excuse to cover up the fact that he had used magic in front of muggles to a muggle that had no idea it existed. And to top it off, to protect his daughter from a guy he had thought might kill her, and him for that matter. Try explaining _that_.

"I had a few things I wanted to look up in the library."

There was a pause before Charlie broke out into laughter, slapping Harry on the back. "I got myself another bookworm in the family! You and Bella, I swear!" Aaand safe! Homerun for Harry! "I just need to stop by the police station after we eat."

Letting out a breath of relief wasn't an option, but Harry had let a small smile play on his lips before he helped move the couch. With a short good-bye to Bella the two guys left to Charlie's favorite diner where they had each ordered a steak out of their hunger. There they had eaten in peace for most of their meal, occasionally making small talk but otherwise content to munch down on their food. That peace had been broken with a sharp snap though when the diner's bell rang with the arrival of three new guests.

Harry's eyes widened as much as it was possible as he watched Alice, Jasper, and Edward take a seat at a table near him. None of the Cullens looked like they belonged in the quaint and tiny diner and Harry knew in an instant that they normally would never be there. It wasn't just because all the other customers were in shock, but also because Alice wouldn't stop _grinning_.

"Something wrong Harry?" Asked Charlie over his beer glass, clearly not at all fazed by seeing the Cullens. He was the only one.

'_I'm being stalked my a family of murderers, does that count as something wrong?_' He wanted to reply as, but had instead given the man a simple no. Yet, even with only saying that one word Edward seemed to find something funny about it if his smirk had been anything to go by. '_There's nothing funny about this._' And Edwards smirk turned into a grin.

"Oh Harry! What a lovely _surprise_!" Alice said as if just now noticing him. Charlie finally looked up as she floated over to their corner table, and managed to say a polite hello before she continued talking. "I know you're busy eating with Mr. Swan here but Edward over there had been meaning to introduce himself to you for the past week. He was just too _shy_."

Harry was about to say that he hadn't even seen Edward before this morning's incident before Charlie spoke up. "Well that's nice of you." Harry shot the man a look but he just continued on. "You can stay here Harry and make friends while I go over to the police station if you want."

"We'll take him home!" Alice cut in quickly, winking at Harry.

Charlie nodded, standing up. "Alright then. I don't know how strict your boarding school was Harry, but I don't want you out too late. It's a school night."

Again, Harry tried to tell the man how much he didn't want to "make friends" with three murderers or at least potential murderers when Alice grabbed him by the elbow and brought him to his feet with surprising strength. "Yes sir! He won't be gone long! Don't you worry!"

'_Worry, for Merlin's sake Charlie! Worry! I don't have my wand!'_ Harry thought as he was dragged over to the Cullen's table, watching as Charlie paid his bill and left. Alice roughly sat him in the chair closest to Edward, who looked as equally as uncomfortable as himself. That was the only good thing about this situation.

Alice suddenly was sitting at his left, her big golden eyes locked on him. "Harry." She started as Harry gathered his magic into a ready position, just in case they decided to attack here. "This is my brother Edward, he's been very eager to meet you and your new, ah, sister? Do you call her that yet? I suppose not. Anyways, say hello Edward."

Edward was glaring at Alice by now, but he managed to mumble a hurried and perhaps a bit strained "hi". Moving his gaze from Alice to Edward, Harry ran his eyes down the male to check for any obvious muggle weapons on his person, almost relaxing when there was none. Almost. For Edward was now looking at Harry and his heart had sped up again. "Do you like what you see?"

Blushing, Harry turned away, obviously unable to tell the teen that he had been only checking him out for weapons. Letting the other know he was onto his murderous thoughts wasn't an option. "Do you guys realize how awkward this is for me?" Harry had said instead of responding.

"It's obvious." Startled by the voice of Jasper Harry bit his tongue. Jasper leaned closer towards Harry at this, as if intrigued by the action. Harry should have known to question that, but he hadn't.

"We're not use to," Edward struggled to find the right words. "Making friends." Harry snorted at that. "But that's what we- I am trying to do. I want to be your," Edward looked away. "Friend."

"And if I don't want to be your," Harry paused in an almost mocking way, but he had never regretted it due to what happened soon after. "Friend?" Edward's eyes were back on him, both boys challenging the other through their eyes. At the time, Harry was vaguely reminded of his and Draco's old rivalry. (By this time their friendship had still been on the rocks.)

This is when Edward leaned forward; his face dangerously close to Harry's but his pride had refused to let him back up. It instead forced him to stare right back at Edward with his own determined look. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice Harry." Edward quietly spoke from lips Harry had taken more than a few looks at while they had moved. "Bella happens to attract me quite a bit, but you," He had gotten closer, too close. "You captivate me. Especially your mystery."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Well let me clear up a bit of that mystery right now then." He spoke with only contempt in his voice, completely hiding the fact that his heart was pounding against his rib cage in an almost painful manor. "I'm Harry fucking Evans and I _completely_ distrust you and your family."

Was it left out that young Harry Potter had been forced to change his last name due to safety reason? It seems so. Continue on.

An odd smile appeared on Edward's face at that, like he could hear his heart beat at it's fast pace. "That means you don't hate me yet."

Alice suddenly broken into giggles and both boys had quickly turned away from each other. Both her and Jasper were looking highly amused at their antics, as were a few of the other customers when Harry looked around him. That sort of bothered him that their little power play had been completely in public with that public not minding their own damn business. Plus, it didn't help that he had this unsettling feeling in his stomach telling him that he had lost this small battle with Edward.

"So cute!" Alice exclaimed with a clap of her hands. "So now that you two have met, I vote we set up a play date!" The three of them looked at her questionably, Harry secretly wondering if she was insane. _'If she is, it better be the good kind of insane like Luna._' "This Friday at seven Edward is going to pick you up Harry, to go see a movie. There, you will tell each other about yourself and after an awkward moment, you two will smile at each other and are about to kiss, but then-!" Jasper shot her a look and she quickly gave him one back, sticking out her tongue. "Ok, so that won't happen, but did you really think I was going to tell them what does?"

'What the fucking hell is she talking about?' and 'Is she insane or something else?' were both questions that ran through Harry's head during Alice's little speech, along with several curses and a few imaginary killings.

"I could see for myself." Said Edward as he leaned across the table to stare at his sister. Her smile seemed to tell him something though, for he merely sat back and looked around the room again with a scowl. Harry didn't like this at all. Not only did they seem to be having a second conversation going on here, but what conversation he could hear made no sense. "It's late enough. We should take Harry home." And so they did, without even ordering any food or drinks for themselves, further proving to Harry that they had only been there for him. That unfortunately meant that he had been stalked by three potential murderers bent on befriending him to possibly get information about Bella out of him. That too did not settle right with Harry, at all.

So now the wizarding world's savior was back at his muggle home after being driven by the speed demon named Edward Cullen, who never once had looked in the rearview mirror at him. But Harry hadn't complained seeing as after that he had a sort of permanent blush stained onto his cheeks no matter how much he thought of the drunken scene of McGonagall and Mrs. Weasley. What had been odd to him though was the fact that Jasper, of all people, had constantly kept peeking over at him, looking like he was holding himself back for some reason. A reason that he highly doubted had to do with anything good.

Bella had been a sleep when he had gotten home, but Charlie had informed him that she had been peeved when he had told her that Harry had stayed to eat with the Cullens. Harry had nodded at this and had resolved to speak with her on the way to school tomorrow in her truck, maybe start trying to help her move on with a more direct approach. Even if that didn't work he knew it was best to try every approach he could think of before he did something drastic like cast a Fidelius Charm on a house in Britain and stashed her away there so Edward and his eerie family could never find her until she was old and gray. Maybe not even then.

He sat down on his desk chair and looked up at the ceiling in thought. The Cullens were so different, but not in the usual muggle way he had heard about like emos or goths or hippies. In fact, they were the sort of different you found in the wizarding world. Different as in too pale and too beautiful, with strength exceeding the norm- especially in Alice's case. There were too many different sorts of creatures in the wizarding world to be able to place them yet though, but he was now almost positive that they weren't muggles.

Plus, muggles didn't tend to have whole families so _blood thirsty_, right?

After a short search on the Internet (which Bella had to teach him to use his first day here), he confirmed that was a big no. Muggles, he quickly wrpte in his Muggles Studies notebook, seemed to like to work alone or in a pair in most murder cases. Then he quickly scratched that out after imagining Mrs. Beckley's face if she read that. Priceless, but knowing his luck she would waste no time throwing him back into the muggle world for his detention. This time with a broken wand.

Bed was his next destination and it met him with a welcoming sensation. He was too weary to care about the problem that was Edward Cullen anymore, and so soon found himself drifting off into jumbled dreams. In the morning he would barely remember something about the war in those dreams, but what little that he had remembered would ruin his Tuesday plans to help Bella.

Because of his nightmarish sleep, he hadn't heard his snake hissing at the window or the rustle of the leaves on the closest tree when the wind was still that night. Neither had he seen the face that silently peeped through the glass or the confused look that played on it.

And he most certainly hadn't noticed when that person apparated with a small pop to inform to his superiors about the new development in the Potter case.

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See? This is slashy romance with a plot.

**IMPORTANT-  
**Harry getting a stiffy earlier was not meant to be discribed as a lustful obsession of his own, I just had to state the fact that while Harry completely distrusts and somewhat fears Edward, he's still somewhat physically attracted to the vampire. And being eighteen and still a virgin, I would suspect that his hormones are a bit high. There is also the fact that having Harry feel the attraction most muggles have for vampires makes him seem less superhuman. I am going to ease into their relationship, don't worry.

I would also like to point out that I'm not following the life of Bella and will tend not to explain anything that happens to her personally unless it directly affects Harry, Edward, or is important for the plot. For instance the car crash still happened but since Bella wasn't staring at Edward because he wasn't there due to certain circumstances that will be explained soon, she wasn't involved in the car crash. I didn't feel the need to say that in the story (though I did mention about her friend being in the hospital) because it has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I'm sorry to those of you who like Bella and want to know every little detail about her life as well as Harry's and Edward's but that's just not going to happen. She's still a main character though so no sweat on that.

As for Jacob Black since I know you guys will be asking about him, he's still in the story, and yes he and his father still sold that darn truck to Bella. That'll be said later in the story but I figured some of you might flip without knowing that.

If you have any further questions, feel free to ask and I'll answer the best I can without giving away too much.

_**Thanks again to all you reviewers! **_


	3. Chapter 2

**WARNING: THIS IS SLASH. **

**_Disclaimer:_** I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

**_A/N:_** You critics are awesome! I know it's probably weird for me to be so happy about reviews that some might see as offending but I love them! So thank you to everyone who reviewed! It's just amazing that I even got one review really.

My writing style is very different and apparently very wordy, but the latter I've mostly fixed thanks to my wonderful beta! So give a round of applause to **Mistyfire**! She has also fixed my horrible idea that everything needs hads as well as a few other minor things. This story would not be readable without her help. Well, maybe somewhat readable if you reread every line, but that's besides the point. Thank you Misty!

Now one thing that some of you have seemed to have forgotten is the fact that Harry lost his ability to speak Parseltongue in DH. When Voldemort killed him more specifically. So it's canon that he can't speak it now.

Also, this story is to make people laugh while still being able to read something with a plot. I found that the only well written stories in the Twilight/Harry Potter fandom were angst and since I'm not a big fan of it myself, I decided to be original. Actually I was so mad at how little to no humor there was in this fandom that I wrote the Prologue in about an hour, not expecting any response like earlier said. Hell, I wasn't even planning on continuing it until I got nearly 40 reviews on the Prologue alone. But I hereby solemnly swear to carry this story through to the end! (Besides, if I didn't, I'm pretty sure my muse would kill me. And he's _very_ creative.)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

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**Definitely Not Disney  
**_By Shadow Hunt_

**Chapter Two**

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Tuesday had not been pleasant for Harry, but neither had Wednesday or Thursday. The later two days though hadn't consisted of Bella ignoring him while he tried to get his emotions together after the worrying dreams he had that night before. But all three days _had_ consisted of Harry cursing his raging hormones for wanting the one person he had been watching like a hawk. Not watching in the way Bella had, but in the way he had watched the Slytherins throughout his years at Hogwarts. The way that watched every movement and every gesture, waiting for the moment when they did anything at all threatening so he could raise his wand and protect.

He had this disconcerting feeling though that his physical attraction to Edward was partly due to whatever creature he and his family were. Not all of it of course, because then he would be attracted to all the Cullens (and honestly the thought of the blonde Cullen Rosalie like _that_ slightly off put him in the worst of ways), but he figured most of it was. Hoping that was also the reason behind Bella's own obsession, he had a long talk with her late Tuesday night after he had explained the dinner situation. That talk mostly consisted of her rambling on about Edward, boring Harry immensely, but it had proved that what she had felt was completely physical lust with a strong mixture of curiosity. Dastardly combination that was.

The talk had also informed him of her seating arrangement in her Biology class and how Edward had spoken to her some, but nothing more than a few words. He had decided that there was nothing that could be done to correct that (since apparently Edward had already tried) but had taken extra measures to catch a glimpse of her everyday as she left Biology to make sure she was still breathing. On Thursday he had a small panic attack when he hadn't seen her, only to realize she had stayed in the classroom a few extra minutes to ask the teacher a few things. He had walked her to her next class just to calm himself down.

Wednesday evening had passed and with it two owls carrying two letters when he was alone. The first letter had been from Neville explaining to him a bit further in depth about the multiple language spells he had to use everyday just to get by. It also touched upon how Luna had sent him a wire bracelet with rice and strands of wheat intertwined to ward off another of Luna's mysterious creatures for their two-month dating anniversary. Harry had a good laugh when Neville had then said one of his new friends had mistaken it for litter and had thrown it out.

The second letter had been from Hermione in response to one he had sent her Tuesday. Here is what it had said:

_Harry,_

_What is with your sudden interest in magical creatures? Did you come across some over there in America, because if you did I think you should inform the Headmistress right away. It might not be safe for you to continue staying there, and I'm sure you know that your safety is of a higher concern than the completion of your Muggle Studies project. How is that coming along by the way?_

_George recently signed a contract with a French joke shop thanks to your little hint to the media that he was looking to further expand his business. He would have told you himself I'm sure, but he's still trying to get used to inventing without Fred. I've tried to help him where I can, but it's just not the same. My creativity is apparently not up to par._

_Ron was in another one of his moods last night, but I think you were the cause this time. He locked himself in the boy's dorm and it took me __thirty minutes__ to get in there this time. Can you believe he's been studying warding spells to keep his own girlfriend out? All the same, you should probably owl him in the next week or so, just to let him know that you miss him just as much as he misses you. _

_On a happier note, Rita Seeker was fired from the Daily Prophet on Monday due to one of her stories blatantly disregarding the Goblin Secrecy Act of 1147 and reminding the public that the vaults 34,390 through 34,849 are proected by dark goblin magic. She should have known the outrage the public would be in over the dark magic! Just last week they broke a boys wand because he enchanted some bowls to make any food in it cut off the eater's tongue and then reattach it later- and that was only on the verge of dark! Some people, I swear._

_The Gryffindors send their regards. _

_With Love,  
__Hermione_

_P.S. The next sheet contains a detailed list of all the creatures that fit your description. The ones underlined are known to inhabit America. Tell the Headmistress Harry! _

The list that Hermione had included had been more than enough food for his thoughts. There had been several on the list that he instantly crossed out such as the uni-souled and the Naga Descendants. One had unicorn blood and therefore wouldn't even be able to _think_ murderous thoughts let alone enact them and the other would have scaly skin that not even magic could hide. Satyr was also another one he had crossed out due to their playfulness. Though he had mused about it for some time because of Alice.

What had been left on the list were Veelas, Dragon Hominids, Shape Shifters, Elves, Chakoyas, Vampires, Elemental Sapiens, and Spriggan. Chakoyas was still rather debatable due to their need for the cold, but the half-bloods could go without it as long as there was no sun. In fact, the more he thought about it, the higher it got on the list. He had heard somewhere that the Cullens always went hiking when the sun was out, but if they loved nice weather as much as they said they did, it would be smarter for them to move somewhere where it always had nice weather. Spriggan was crossed out with that thought since they were wood folk and loved the sun.

Though Dragon Hominids, Vampires, and some lesser Hydro Sapiens all had reasons to stay away from the sun too. Dragon Hominids and Vampires both had skin that would glow or sparkle when sunlight hit it, while Hydro Sapiens always felt like they were being evaporated in the sun's heat. He had heard once that a sun dried Hydro Sapien was the inspiration behind the "I'm melting! I'm meeelting!" scene in the Wizard of Oz.

But none of this he had written in the letter back to Hermione or the one to Ron. And he most certainly refused to write the Headmistress. Hermione was sure to get suspicious, and she had, about how he cleverly had tried to avoid her but he knew she wouldn't say anything to anybody until she was completely sure. Or until she was too gone with worry to think straight, but he had hoped that wouldn't happen for at least another month or never, that was better. Unfortunately he hadn't had luck on his side and she had broken much sooner than he had expected.

"Harry are you listening? Harry!"

It was now Friday in Harry's last period class, English, with a muggle named Taylor Blake Jackson (nickname TB and J) trying to get Harry's mind back on him. Taylor was a talkative muggle that faintly reminded Harry of Colin Creevey. He rarely noticed when somebody lost interest in the conversation, but when he did, he annoyed you until your interest came back. And Harry's interest was unwillingly taken hostage by Taylor yet again, so with a sigh he said, "Yes, sorry. I was thinking."

Taylor grinned. "About Edward right? He's been mighty persistent on talking with you. I'm surprised you've been able to avoid him this long! Wait, you never did tell why you didn't like him or even why he came out of his shell to try to talk to you. What did you do? Kill his imaginary friend? Spill it Harry."

"Oh yes Harry, do spill," Came a knowing voice from behind him. Harry didn't have to even look to know it was Alice, probably wearing that grin that never seemed to leave her. He decided to ignore her.

Harry watched as Taylor took in the fact that Alice was also 'coming out of her shell' to Harry. He wished desperately that she and the rest of her wack job of a family would go back into that shell, have someone duct tape the outside of it (he was more than willing) and never come back out. That never happened though. "Oh no, I wasn't thinking about Edward. I know exactly how I plan on getting him out of my hair and I know when I'm going to do it." That was for Alice and Jasper's benefit. "So why should I waste more time thinking about that when I could be thinking of how huge the teacher's butt looks in those pants." And that was to change the topic.

Taylor took the bait and laughed as he stole a peek at their teacher beneath his curly fringe. "I know right! That thing is like wow! Sham Wow! Have you tried one of those Sham Wows? Those towels get up any spill, big or small! It's amazing!" Harry didn't him that the creator of the Sham Wows was a famous wizard inventor. "My mom bought a normal towel after using one of those super shammys and she couldn't handle how little it soaked up! That reminds me! My mom is going to grandma's tomorrow so I'm throwing a party. You're coming."

Harry raised an eyebrow at this. "I am?" After all the parties he had been to after the fall of the Dark Lord, he hadn't felt like going to another one. Especially not a muggle one where he could slip some accidental magic if he wasn't careful. There had been many reports of such throughout history, the biggest one being a Canadian who made everyone in a five mile radius think they lived in Jamaica, not Canada. Meaning after that, the amount of deaths by frostbite had shot up tremendously. So had the amount of people to sign up for drum lessons strangely enough.

"You are!" Taylor said with cheer. "Just don't tell Bella though. I don't want her taking Mike." He scrunched up his nose at Mike's name as if he was a disease. "I don't like him, not one bit."

Another boy turned in his seat at that to give Taylor an exasperated look. "Just because he stole your _dear_ Jessica away from you as a freshman you've been at his throat. Give it a break man. It's been two years."

After that the two boys bickered for the rest of the period, up until the bell rang and they stalked out of the classroom in anger. Before Harry could follow after Taylor though, his arm was grabbed and he was spun around. His wand was in his hand and hidden by his jacket's long sleeve before he even saw it was Alice who had grabbed him. Thank Merlin Mrs. Weasley had been hopping on a growth spurt that had yet to come or else he would have been exposed as a wizard. Not good, but that didn't mean he was going to loosen his grip on the tip of his wand.

"You have a date with destiny Harry, and it isn't at the bookstore." Alice quietly mumbled close enough to him so no one else still in the classroom could hear her. Jasper was leaning against the table next to them, looking casual enough but Harry knew he was ready to attack if need be. But as soon as his threat's locations were in mind, he zoned in on her words. _'How the fuck did she know I was planning on going to the bookstore to avoid this date? How the bloody fuck?' _None of the four creatures he suspected her and her family to be had the gift of sight, but she seemed to have it if his suspicions were correct.

He didn't get an answer though because she tightened her grip on his arm and began dragging him towards the door. Jasper was right behind him to make sure he didn't run, he suspected. There, under the threshold, she stopped and looked at him. "Her smell is the cause." Then without another word she and Jasper him left there in mild shock. It wasn't until a girl behind him asked if she could get out of the classroom did he make his way to Bella's truck.

Later that night Harry found himself on the couch next to Charlie, watching the telly go on about the wild dog killings in the area on the news. Charlie had explained them in more detail, saying that tomorrow he was going to be patrolling the town for them. Harry offered to help so he would have an excuse to get out of Taylor's party, but the man had looked at him with a wry smile and said, "You're good kid, Harry, but the thing is, you don't act like a kid. And you should. You seem to have grown up too fast." Harry tried to swallow back his emotions at Charlie's words, but he couldn't help but feel sorrow at that truth. "So I'm punishing you for it!" Harry's eyes instantly snapped back to Charlie in confusion. "You're punishment is to go to that Jackson boy's party tomorrow, you hear me?"

"Sir?" Harry questioned in a slight daze. Charlie must have lost his marbles, because that wasn't a punishment at all. He was about to tell the man that he would help him find those marbles when he took in the aged man's happy grin. From the frown wrinkles on the policeman's face, he guessed he hadn't grinned that much for a long while before Harry and Bella showed up. Harry didn't want to be the one to put that smile upside down again. "But the legal drinking age is twenty-one here Charlie. I'm eighteen."

Charlie's grin widened at that. "Yes but you're legal over in you're home country, so I'm saying your legal to do it here- but only for tomorrow. And don't worry 'bout getting caught, I'm on patrol remember?" Harry nodded mutely, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Good. Now Alice called to tell me you and Edward are going to hang out in about an hour, but was afraid you'd skip out on him. Very sweet girl."

"She called?" Harry asked in disbelief. That girl would have been Slytherin for sure with all this meddling she was doing!

Charlie nodded. "Sure did. Asked me to make sure you went. So as another punishment, I'm kicking you out of the house at seven on the dot, and I don't care if you're butt naked." He paused. "Actually I do, so I'll throw ya a blanket if you are, but that's as nice as I get."

Harry's mouth was open from shock. "But- you- what? I'm sorry but- I- uh- they-"

"They are very kind, yes, I know. Now shoo!" He made shooing motions before noticing that Harry didn't budge. So he pushed the wizard off the couch with another grin. Harry yelped in surprise. "Off with you boy, you're still in your school clothes." Harry continued to look at Charlie with wide eyes from his perch on the floor, mouth catching flies. "I don't have anything on my face do I? You're worryin' me Harry."

Harry quickly shook his head and stood up, stumbling slightly. "No sir, I'm just surprised you care so much about this." And he was. Never before had an adult cared about making sure he acted like a kid, in fact, they had made sure that he hadn't. But he couldn't truly blame any of them since they needed a hero and a savior to bring them out from Voldemort's shadow. No kid could have done that.

The look Charlie gave him as he walked up the stairs seemed to be on the sadder side, but Harry had been too much in a daze to scowl at it. His daze had carried him over for the next hour as he took a shower, changed into fancy-casual style cloths, and did several other activities to make himself look as good as he was going to get, which was actually _very_ good. Bella even said so when he walked into her room to explain where he was going.

"Hey, maybe you can put in a good word for me." Bella asked hopefully when Harry was about to go downstairs. He turned to face her, showing her his disapproval with his eyes and posture. She gulped but continued on. "Harry you know I like him a lot. Please?"

Taking her hand and leading her back over to her bed, he sat them both down and then promptly dropped her hand so she didn't think anything more of it. No one said he hadn't been vaguely worried that her obsession might move on to him after Edward. It hadn't luckily. He turned to look at her, trying to decide which lie to sprout first, but then finally settled on the most dramatic one. "Bella, he's alright for a friend, but there's a reason his family won't let him date."

Bella's eyes widened enormously at that, her face going deathly pale. "His family is the reason why he doesn't date?"

"You make it seem like it's their fault. They just don't want him hurting another girl." Harry lied; peeking at the clock swiftly to note it was eight minutes till seven. He had to hurry this. "They moved here because he knocked a few good ones to his ex-girlfriend, sending her to the hospital. They didn't want it to happen to you so they met me at the diner to try and get me to persuade you to stop fancying him."

"Wait… wait!" Bella muttered frantically, grabbing his wrists in her petite hands. "They know I like him?"

Harry wanted to knock a few goods ones to _her_ for asking that. The one thing she had picked up on in that conversation was that the Cullens knew she fancied Edward. He couldn't believe her! "Yes but he beat up his last girlfriend! Think for a minute!"

She blinked a few times. "Well what'd she do?"

Enough was enough, and Harry stood up and yanked his wrists out of her hands. "Does it matter?" he spit out bitterly and stalked out of the room to walk downstairs to wait for Edward to come. He didn't have to brood long, for immediately when the grandfather clock struck seven, the doorbell rang too. Harry glared at the door but didn't go open it, which Charlie muttered about before he pulled open the door to reveal a nicely dressed Edward standing there with his hands in his pockets. The creature was utterly failing to look casual.

"Edward! Nice to see you again!" Charlie exclaimed. "Come in, come in!" He ushered the creature inside, making Harry squirm with the want to draw his wand on the teen. There just had to be a rule about willingly letting the enemy enter your home without a peace treaty or at least a few spells or runes in place to protect them. He paused with that thought, making a note to get Hermione to send over a runes book so he could put up at least a few of the basic ones. Little did he know that the Headmistress had already set up several wards around the house upon learning that Charlie had moved. (She hadn't been a happy camper when she realized she had to do all the wards again.)

Harry scanned over Edward for weapons, but only noticed that Edward's posture had stiffened upon entering the house, most likely due to either his and Bella's smell or the strong scent of paint still in the air. Guessing it was the foremost, he sighed. But he couldn't help but wonder if the paint at least bothered Edward- He hoped it did.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked awkwardly and Harry nodded back, saying a quick good-bye to Charlie before pushing the creature out the door. The other looked worried as he and Harry walked to the silver Volvo parked in the driveway, but Harry didn't know if it was because of Harry's obvious anger or if he was wondering if his plans to kill Harry would work. Honestly, Harry didn't care at that moment.

Once they were both seated in the car, Edward twisted to stare at Harry. Harry glared back. "You don't have to come you know, but I would like you to. I want to show you that my intentions aren't to kill you like you seem to think." Again Harry couldn't help but be shocked into silence, unsure how Edward had figured out that he was onto him. He supposed he was being a bit flagrant about it. "The door isn't locked."

Shaking his head, Harry sighed. "Not the car door, but the house door is." Pointing to the door he meant to make further make his point. "Seems like Alice and Charlie are becoming fast friends."

Edward chuckled, startling Harry so bad his neck hurt at the speed in which it had turned to watch the creature laugh. It was odd to see the smile play on his crimson lips, but Harry found himself liking it. "Yes, she did tell me that she had made sure that you would be out of the house at the very least. I didn't think she actually talked to Charlie though." He put the car in gear and back out of the driveway swiftly, driving down the road and turning left at the empty corner house with the big 'For Sale' sign falling partly into the car's way. Edward easily curved away from it.

A drive that usually would have taken an hour was only thirty-one minutes and twenty-eight seconds (Harry had counted each and every second due to thinking that each one would be his last. It was too fast considering a potential murderer was behind the wheel). But where was their destination you ask? Why of course to the downtown Mexican restaurant, the only restaurant with cars out front costing more than a few trips to the junkyard.

"I figured we would eat first before going to the movies." Edward said as he got out of the car, quickly making his way over to passenger side of the car to further open Harry's door. Harry glared at that, but said nothing. "And before you get in your head otherwise, I'm paying." With that he had taken hold of Harry's elbow and steered him into the restaurant. Young Harry Potter's protests at that went unheard.

Inside a young hostess blushed and smiled and, unintentionally, became the first thing Harry laughed about at the dinner table. The poor girl had been so confused on which of the two of them she had liked more. The two teens had taken advantage of that and played a small game with her for the rest of the evening, consisting on subtle flirting and blatant motions that sent the hostess into a fluster of emotions. While Harry admitted that his effort had been fruitful, he had to give the title of 'Superior of Stupid but Somehow Suspiciously Fun Flirtations' (which they had argued over for some time) to Edward. The creature just had a natural knack for making girls melt into little balls of silly putty. Instantly that had been added to the list of abilities that seemed to come with whatever creature Edward and his family were.

On the subject of that, Harry had marked off Chakoyas from the list, leaving Dragon Hominids, Vampires, and Hydro Sapiens left. This restaurant was like a steam room due to the kitchen's door open and the fan above them broken and slightly loose, meaning any Chakoya would have turned a light shade of blue as their body tried to counteract the room's temperature. Edward was still the same pale of before, if not a bit paler in the colorful lights sprouted in an organized random around the room.

"So Harry," Edward began after a small nibble on his rare steak, which Harry could tell he hadn't been enjoying. Another fact that had gone on the list. "I'm surprised you're actually having a good time with me."

And that's where it all started to crumble.

Harry had of course noticed that neither of them had spilled any blood across the restaurant (namely Harry's), but he had completely overlooked the fact that he had been actually, dare he say it, _enjoying_ the company of the murderer. But that was the problem of course, Edward being a murderer and all. Even if the teen had stated earlier that he had no intentions of killing Harry, that still left Bella open for slicing and dicing. How could he be sure that the other Cullens weren't already at his new muggle home, taking advantage of Harry's absence and raping and torturing Bella? Even if he thought the girl needed a few lessons in the love department that did not mean that he didn't care if she got killed because he was on a date with her fancy. He blinked at that. Saying it like that made this whole situation a whole lot more awkward in Harry's mind.

Date was the only word that could really describe it, but Harry had been fool enough to dismiss that thought, trying to find another way to explain this little dinner and a movie _thing_ he had been at with Edward. A scouting mission he finally had concluded after a few moments, nodding his head. He had narrowed Edward's creature class down some as well as added a few more facts about Edward in his imaginary journal after all, so all things considering, this had been a very productive mission. No way, no how, was the mission in fact a date with the enemy.

Right. And Mrs. Beckley wasn't a conniving bitch, Fred was still alive, Ginny was a sweet and ickle angel that had never started making a love potion for him, and Edward wasn't looking at him with drowning pools of topaz for eyes. Did he forget to mention that pigs were flying?

"I'm," Harry paused to cough, giving him more time to think of some excuse. "I'm just enjoying my last moments on Earth."

Edward frowned at him, leaning back and crossing his arms. Harry felt slightly bad for the lie, but the enemy wasn't supposed to know about scouting missions. So he rethought his feelings, and justified the lie. You lied to the enemy, simple as that. "I told you earlier that I don't want to kill you Harry." Edward said in a monotone which Harry knew he used when he got annoyed.

Harry gave him a look. "Just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you don't have to. Trust me, I of all people would know that."

He received a look from Edward in which Harry saw the sorrow and that little ounce of pity that he, even to this day, hates. "Harry I'm not part of some organization out to murder you or Bella. I'm not being ordered to by any higher… creature. Nor am I being blackmailed into killing you." Ok, so Harry only heard truth in those words. Maybe Edward was just a really good liar, that's all. "What it comes down to is that I only want to be your friend."

Not knowing what to say to that, Harry turned his head to look out the window, watching as two young boys kicked a ball back and forth, their mothers talking in front of the barbershop a few feet away. It was warming for Harry to see a world not ravaged by war, but as he looked back at Edward, he couldn't help but see a contradiction to the scene outside the window. The creature was at war with himself, something inside him trying to escape. Something that wanted to kill. But Edward was fighting it, those eyes told Harry. Edward's eyes, Harry mused, were the center of everything that attached him to Edward. They were like a book constantly changing pages, sometimes stopping on one page but closing completely on another, only to reopen again when sunshine was again read within those words. The thing was, that sunshine was so far pushed back in that book that it reminded him of his own face directly after the war. That scared him slightly, but he promised himself he would at least try a little bit to bring that sunshine forward. Those eyes needed to shine.

Edward's eyes, to say the least, had been the army that destroyed Harry's defenses. Made him vulnerable and weak, but never once had attacked him. Those eyes had been in every way the fishing rod that caught Harry in that state and reeled him it.

But that has yet to come in the story of Harry's life. Now was another moment of clarity, one as equally important, if not greater. For this was the moment that Harry James Potter (Harry Orion Evans to the people of Forks) realized only _part_ of Edward wanted to kill him.

Not very reassuring, but hey, it was better than nothing at this point.

"Edward." Harry spoke, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands. "Tell me why you want to be my friend so bad. As far as I know, you and your family never made any effort before to befriend us humans. Why am I so different?"

The creature chuckled softly, startling Harry again. This laughing thing Edward had going seemed too normal for him. "Everything about you is different. Your eyes, your hair, your smell. But then there is this mystery about you I can't figure out. You-" Edward paused to lick his lips. "I have trouble hearing you. Some things are clear, and then others I just can't hear at all. Your secrets know how to hide, and I don't like it." Harry stared blankly at the other, wondering if he had lost his marbles too. It would be just his luck really. "It's not like Bella, who I just can't hear at all. But she has nothing to hide. Nothing special." Edward leaned forward across the table, his face dangerously close, again too close for Harry too breathe. But he couldn't back down. "You're special Harry."

Harry had leaned forward too at this, his nose ghosting Edward's. "Edward." He breathed out, his breath filling Edward's sense of smell in a way Harry knew had to be torturous. He had onions in meal after all. "If I had a Knut for every time I heard that I would need to buy another vault." Edward had been obviously confused at his choice of words, and Harry vaguely wondered if he had just blown his cover. Only wizards and goblins used Knuts and he was most certainly not a goblin. "I've never been normal. I can't be normal. I'm not allowed. For once, I would like to _try_ being normal." He paused to watch Edward's Adam's apple bob up and down as he gulped. "I hope that isn't impossible."

Edward's eyes closed and then reopened to show Harry their depths. They took Harry's breath away every time. "With me, it would be."

Backing up, Harry nodded. "And that's why I can't be friends with you. This is my only chance at being normal, because as soon as I go back to my real school, I'll be put back up on my pedestal. I hate that pedestal."

He was met with silence as Edward sat up straight too, both of them musing on the other's words for sometime before Edward decided to speak again. "Normal is overrated, I think." Harry wanted to ask what he knew about being normal, but had quickly reminded himself that if he were a vampire, he would have been normal before being turned. So he couldn't say anything, because he wasn't sure if he was or not. "Come on, we're both done with our meal. Time to take you home."

"Wait, what about the movie?" Harry asked as he had stood up with Edward, dropping the tip before the creature could as much as think about paying for that as well. This was much to the other's annoyance but Harry only shrugged in response.

Edward stared at him a moment before responding. "You're not ready to see Blade."

"It's a movie, I think I can handle it." Harry muttered, crossing his arms.

He didn't get a response from Edward though, for the teen had already started walking towards the front door. With a huff and a cheery good-bye from the hostess, he followed him out to the Volvo. Edward opened his door for him, and Harry glared back. So without a further ado, Harry walked over to the driver's side of the vehicle, hopped in and slid over to the passenger seat. All the while Edward starred in disbelief, closing the door after a few seconds to make his way over to the drivers seat.

The only thing said the whole ride back to Harry's house was a mumbled "You're crazy" from Edward in the first ten minutes, and a replied "Crazy's part of special" from Harry, which had earned him a sharp glare. Harry hadn't minded though, and in fact had grinned back.

When they reached Charlie's house, Edward didn't walk him to the door like a proper date would, but only because Harry had reached over to put Edward's seatbelt on and then exited. It was a clear sign to not follow, Harry thought as he walked inside. In the living room was Charlie asleep on the couch with a tennis match left on the telly and Bella on the Lazyboy reading a black covered book. She looked up at him, then the clock, and scowled before she went back to her book. He wondered whose stick was up her arse before he found himself in his new room writing a reply to Luna and Draco, both of whom had sent him letters in the three hours he had been gone.

Then he froze, turning back to the clock, shocked to see that it really had been three hours. The only thought after that. was about whether that could actually be called a date, because a scouting mission did not end with him smiling at how long he had been gone on said scouting mission. In fact, it should end with him jotting everything he had learned down, so that's what he did just to prove to himself it wasn't a date.

_Possible Edward Creature Traits (PECT):_

_Can't go out into the sun without consequences.  
__Doesn't like or can't have a vast amount of people food.  
__Impossibly strong.  
__Incredibly handsome.  
__Physical attraction inevitable.  
__Very fast.  
__Pale.  
__Proper mannerisms.  
__Heightened sense of smell.  
Might have better hearing._

_Note__: Part of Edward seems to want to kill Bella and I, probably the creature part of him. Might be half-blood considering this but I'll need to inquire about his mother and father to be sure of that. Set up a reason to go to the hospital, that's where his father works.  
__Note:__ Those bloody eyes of his are too stunning to be normal. Could be a trait considering his siblings have similar eyes.  
__Note__: His sister Alice might be a seer. Could the other Cullens have powers similar to hers?_

Harry sat up and looked at the parchment, nodding to himself silently. He folded the letter and placed it on top of his ones to Draco and Luna, and was about to stand up when suddenly his snake pounced onto the desk as it chased after a bug, scattering his NEWT practice tests and his letters every where. He shouted a curse at his snake, sliding to his bed where his snake had gone under in its hurry to get to its prey. Bending down he peeked under the bed but flung himself back when his snake bounced towards him. Another curse left his mouth as Draco's owl hooted from the window, which caused the bug to leap towards it and burry into it's dark feathers. Amkemil (the name he had given his snake the night before upon learning it was a male) was in his grasp before it could lunge itself at the owl. Without another word he threw his snake into its cage and magically locked it.

"You stupid thing!" Muttered Harry as he quickly grabbed his letter to Draco and handed it to the bird to take. It took it with another hoot and took off to Hogwarts. Harry hoped the bug that caused his snake to clutter his room fell and died as he picked up his papers.

Only when he came across a letter marked to Draco did he realize his mistake.

He had just sent the PECT list to his old rival.

"You bloody fucking snake!" Harry yelled at a hissing Amkemil as he leaned against the wall, his breathing erratic. Now Draco would know that an unknown creature wanted to kill him in a muggle town with no other magical humans or creatures to help him for miles. "Perfect! Just perfect!"

Harry mutely wondered if Draco had given him that familiar just to ruin his life from across the Alantic.

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**Notes**-

**1)** Any creature name that was not mentioned in canon Harry Potter, besides the Spriggan which come from a video came and the Satyr which are a myth, were created by me. If you want to use them yourself please ask. I will most likely say yes. Please do not steal them or I will show my inner bitch and flame your story(s) to no end, and I personally don't care if you flame me back. Just looks like I got more reviews anyways.  
**2)** Amkemil literally means _Beloved Rival_ in Latin. There were several other options darkowand and I came up with but the name just sort of fits that little snake, don't you think?

So many plot twists start in this chapter, but I doubt many of you, if any, will catch the major one that has started. Draco is only part of a bigger picture my dear friends, and when you read what that picture is I swear on Merlin's grave you'll go into shock (hopefully only after you review though, because I rather like all the responses I'm getting). I hope you liked the Harry/Edward interaction, because I'm trying to give you a little action while still taking it slow. I can just imagine every time they see or touch there's friction and sparks! So I'm trying to show that in my funny, oddball way of writing. Hope it worked!

I bet you're all going nuts about Draco too. Oh the fun to be had!

_**Please review!**_


	4. Chapter 3

**WARNING: THIS IS SLASH. **

_**I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!**_  
_Like my sister, I'm horrible at nicknames and names and everything similar so I'm taking her idea and asking you readers if I can use some of your pen names for some of my characters. A lot of you have great names and I'd love to use a few of them. Just let me know!_

_**Disclaimer**_: I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

_**A/N: **_Sorry for the wait! I've come into a lot of trouble starting with my computer breaking down and ending with my best friend telling me she has a rare heart disease. And the stuff between those two events is equally, if not more so, as bad. In fact, the only thing I had time to do was post this up since this had been written for a month or so. So to Misty, the reviewers, and the PMers, I'll respond when I get the chance but please be patient. And also to you reviewers, THANK YOU! You guys made my day every time I read one of them! Keep 'em coming loves!

This chapter is a bit slower (though you'll still have a heart attack at one part and then grab your weapons to kill me) but I promise the next one will have you on your floor in laughter and yet still nibbling on your fingers out of worry.

_Beta-ed by __**MistyFire**__. You should really bow down to her greatness._

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**Definitely Not Disney  
**_By Shadow Hunt_

**Chapter Three**

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It has been earlier said that Harry Potter expected the unexpected in almost everything, but once again the Wizarding world's savior found himself in a situation he didn't expect in the slightest. He hadn't even so much as thought it was a possibility- no wait, that's a lie. Only a few days ago he had a dream about part of it, and the other part of it was something he had been guessing about for days, so no surprise there. Then there was a third part; one that only Edward knew even existed. Not that he knew what the hell this part was suppose to mean but he suspected a threat on Harry, maybe himself. But it's not Edward's moment to shine, but poor moody Harry, who was cursing the weather and everything else twisting his life into this dark and (sorta) romantic (and not to mention odd, heart poundingly _stupid_, and all around messed up) life on the third Saturday of Harry's stay in Forks, Washington.

It all started when Harry woke up that morning to the howls of the wind and the beating of the rain against his partly open window. And yes, that means the first thing Harry did was close his window and clean the water off of his carpet the muggle way, not a very pleasing way to wake up in Harry's opinion. It didn't help that his irritation from the letter incident had carried over through the night and even grew into more murderous intents. Those murderous thoughts moved him through his morning routine, and even into breakfast where Charlie and a half a sleep Bella looked at him in concern. Charlie had even asked several times what was wrong, but Harry had brushed him aside and ate his cereal in silence. If he had spoken, he was sure he would have pulled a Jack the Ripper on them and the surrounding muggle community with a one, two, three dance of his wand.

Until lunch nothing else important happened besides Charlie dropping his cell phone in the kitchen sink and utterly destroying it with muffled curse and a followed sorry for his "bad language". But once the chime for noon rang throughout the house, the house phone went off and prompted Charlie to answer it. After a brief conversation, he turned to the two teens with a grin that worried Harry for a reason unknown to him at that time. Hadn't it been just last night that he decided that Charlie grinning was a good thing? He shook his head of that thought to listen to Charlie say, "Someone just put a bid on the corner house down the road this morning, can you believe it?" Once he got a headshake from Bella, he continued, "Never have so many people moved to Forks at once! First you two; now them!" He paused to think. "I should probably phone Billy later, he's been trying to sell that thing for _years_!"

The man named Billy who Charlie was talking about was his best friend and a Native American of the Quileute tribe with a son around their own age. Harry knew this because Charlie had instantly gone on talking about the Blacks, saying something about trying to get them closer to him and Bella since they obviously needed more friends. Harry didn't know about Bella, but he thought he had enough friends. Across the Atlantic that is.

Also across the Atlantic was one not-quite-friend Draco Malfoy, the blond menace that had Harry squirming in impatience. Draco had yet to send him the dreaded letter that would certainly be requesting a few hundred thousand Galleons to keep his mouth shut about the PECT, if the blond pulled together what the list was aiming at exactly. That 'if' was unfortunately almost nonexistent. Then again, he thought Draco would first send a what-the-fuck letter and then the notification that he was being blackmailed, maybe even a small gift for his stupidity. Though Harry thought it was more carelessness caused by very rational anger than his stupidity _this_ time. But either way, there had been no letter and so there had been no end to Harry's anxiety.

But, even as he thought that he was wondering how his newfound friendship with Draco would factor into this. Mind you, it wasn't off the rocks yet, or even near to flat land, but it still wasn't what it had been. What it had been exactly was opposite sides of the war. Rivals to the bitter end, some people would have said, but of course they were proved wrong when Harry had testified on behalf of Draco and his mother after the fall of the Dark Lord. Then they were proved wrong again when Draco had given him Amkemil. And yet _again_ when Draco's friends discovered a letter from Harry on his bedside table a few days ago that had said a _no more_ than a _few_ kind things. Really, all he had said that Draco had changed for the better and… a few other things not so mean. But that was good, right?

The point was, he and Draco weren't each other's adversaries anymore, and without that title to fall back on, he was actually uncertain of what Draco's reaction would be. Sure, he still thought Draco might resume their old games and with it the blackmail, but a heavy blanket of doubt had formed over it the more his thoughts pondered on what the blond would do. 'Could he help me?' had been one of the main questions Harry had asked himself as he had slowly made his way to his room, but had fallen asleep on his rather soft bed an hour later still asking himself the very same question.

After Bella had come to his room (waking him immediately and unfortunately) around five later that evening to tell him sorry for the night before, his irritation had gone down some, but not enough to stop him from having a glaring contest with Amkemil, the wrongdoer and cause of last night's big mistake, the moment the _thing_ started hissing in the window's direction _again_. Suspicious? Definitely. The snake though had unfortunately won after a good hour of glaring, but only because Charlie had come into his room to tell him to get ready for the hated and unwelcome party. Harry though found himself without the heart to tell Charlie this, but only because the man was grinning so widely the frown winkles looked almost completely gone.

That grin was when he realized how much Charlie reminded him of Remus, but he pushed that into his mental cage with a hard push.

At seven Harry found himself being kicked out of the house again, but this time with an umbrella to shield him from the now light drizzle. He was tempted to use some magic to sneak back into the house but he decided that he had broken that rule enough times already in the past two weeks and probably should try to cut back. Besides, if the Swans found out about him being a wizard he would have to go back to Hogwarts without having figured out what the Cullens were and with a nagging worry over Bella. While he could technically drag her back to England with him for her safety, he doubted she would want to go. He also didn't want to have to take care of a muggle for the rest of her years, but if he had to then he had to. Simple as that.

Though he paused when that physiology fully hit him. It was something that even though had always seemed to be there, Mad Eye Moody had perfected in him. That was of course to protect any innocent at all costs. The only problem with this was the story Moody had told him a few years back, which completely contradicted that physiology. It had been about how Moody had done the same thing for a muggle being hunted by a werewolf in his younger years. "_Pretty girl_." He had said before he told him of how for two years he had protected this vixen without fail, but after a while she grew bored and restless and all in all made his life a living hell. She was so bad, Moody had said, that when the werewolf finally found her little hidey-hole, he only protected her halfheartedly, which he of course regretted afterwards. Still, that meant that though his way of thinking seemed selfless and brave at first, it didn't turn out that way in the end.

So was Harry truly ready to do the same thing, hoping that he at least wouldn't go _completely_ nuts at Bella's boredom that would surely come? At first his answer was a definite yes, but as he forced himself to think about it, he realized that he wasn't so sure about that. Yes, he still wanted to protect her, but to go as far to take her back to Britain with him and forever make sure she stayed out of the public was not exactly a pleasing future. Hell, it was one of the _worst_ futures he could think of besides one with a still alive Voldemort. And if those two were to combine… he shuddered at that thought even though he knew that could never happen. Still a cause for nightmares nonetheless.

He dropped the topic after agreeing that while he spent his semester here; he would do all he could for Bella. His ideas of help mostly consisted of flashy fights with Edward to make sure the creature knew not to mess with her, or better yet, _moved_. He was a guy after all, and no matter how grown any guy got, the idea of a good fight would always be thought of as fun and exciting as long as bloodshed wasn't in the picture. Conveniently for Harry, his thoughts were on the fun side of fights so the usual reminder blood and bruises brought, the one of the war, didn't emerge.

Without a spell to further protect him from the rain, Harry set off for Taylor's with a soft hum of one of Charlie's cop show's themes, probably NCIS since the man watched that one more frequently then the others. It was roughly a twenty-minute walk there, Harry knew, but he still didn't like the fact that he had to trek through the puddles. He would have to get Bella to teach him how to drive before he left for Hogwarts at the end of this semester. He would ask Charlie but he didn't want to be practicing driving in the cop car for the obvious reasons.

It was as he was thinking that, that the first of the two culprits to make themselves known that Saturday pulled up to a stop beside Harry, making the Boy-Who-Lived stare in horror at the shiny silver. And yes, that silver was on a Volvo, the only one in Forks for that matter. The person who owned that Volvo was of course Edward Cullen.

"Get in!" Edward shouted as he leaned over and opened the passenger door. Harry looked at him for a moment before turning and continuing down the sidewalk, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets so he would have quick access to his wand. It was a smart thing to do, but a moment later it didn't matter because Edward grabbed him around the waist and lifted him across his left shoulder in an inhuman speed, further proving to Harry that Edward was no muggle. His hands had been wrenched out of his pockets in the process and without hearing the soft thud in the grass; he was stuffed into the passenger's seat of the Volvo with a yelp.

"What the hell Edward?" Harry shouted as the other teen locked the doors and gazed over at him, smirking. Without giving into the urge to magically remove Edward's lips, Harry asked, "How did you know I would be here?" But as soon as those words left his mouth he remembered Alice and her mysterious seer ability. She was really starting to meddle too much, Harry thought with a scowl.

Edward looked at him for a moment before reaching to the backseat, grabbing a coat, and throwing it on Harry's lap. "You should have known to wear more than a t-shirt Harry."

Harry frowned, but nevertheless put the coat on. It was a little big in the shoulders and arms, but it warmed him and that's all that mattered at this point. "I don't have but three jackets, and if Lavender found out I wore one of them to a party she would kill me." Edward opened his mouth to question that but Harry continued on out of his newfound nervousness. "She's crazy about fashion. In fact I wouldn't doubt she has some sort of device to alert her when I'm not following one of her rules. There's a hundred and twenty for Merlin's sake! How am I supposed to follow them all? I don't even know how-"

"Harry." Edward said to efficiently cut Harry off. "You don't have to be nervous around me."

Whether or not that was true, Harry glared at the other. "So you're saying I shouldn't be nervous when alone in a car with a potential murderer- don't give me that look! I know you say you don't want to hurt me but what about Bella? I know that something in you wants her dead a whole lot more then it wants me face planted in the dirt. I'm not stupid." _'Just careless'_ he added mentally.

Edward sighed, running a hand through his bronze locks. He was facing the front windshield but his eyes were still set on Harry with the oddest of looks, one that made Harry even more nervous. "Harry." It was said in such a deep voice that Harry nearly shivered from that sound alone. He was thankful that if he did he could blame it on his wet clothes. "If I truly wanted you or Bella dead, you'd be dead."

Well now, wasn't that a lovely thought?

Now Harry was stumped. What Edward had said seemed to make perfect sense, but that directly conflicted with the theories Harry had been indulging himself in. The only thing he had to back himself up now was that there hadn't been any opportunities to kill him yet since Charlie had known who he was with both times he had been with Edward. But that was scratched out as soon as he reminded himself of where he was right now, which was in the car with Edward without anybody knowing he was with Edward. In fact no one would suspect him missing until morning if Edward decided to kill him now since everybody at the party would be too drunk to notice he wasn't there and Charlie would think he was too drunk to leave the house. Though he also reminded himself that if Edward were going to kill him, he wouldn't have given him his coat. Unless it was so Harry didn't suspect anything and therefore didn't put up a fight when Edward did decide to show his true colors. But somehow he found himself skeptical about that.

That still left the matter of Bella though, because Edward most certainly had many chances to draw her away and slaughter her. Sure Harry would know almost as soon as he didn't catch a glimpse of her in the hallways, or at least when he waited at her truck to go home and she didn't show, but he also doubted that Edward was scared of him enough to actually take that into consideration. Harry was, after all, a powerless human in Edward's mind that had only few secrets (okay a lot in reality) to hide, and not a fairly powerful wizard that had defeated the strongest, dark European wizard to date. And if Edward had somehow already figured that out he was a one hell of an actor- another thing he doubted.

One thing that did make sense, at least partly, was the fact that Edward could be prodding him for information about Bella and just be saying that there was nothing interesting about her so Harry would correct him. She could have some hidden muggle ability that Harry didn't know about, but since Harry had yet to see anything extraordinary about Bella, the likelihood of that was also shot to seven hells and back again. Besides, Edward could easily get information out of her himself considering how deep her obsession went.

And then it hit him. It was so obvious that Harry smacked his head in disbelief, causing Edward to fully face him in worry. But Harry didn't notice that or anything else since his thoughts were deeply set on how stupid he was, not careless like he had earlier told himself. Like Alice said, Edward found Bella's smell enticing enough to have his inner beast want to kill her, but he slowly realized that was the only thing about Bella that drew Edward to her. (He vaguely remembered Edward saying something similar on their not-date the night before.) That meant that Edward was only there for him; for information _about_ him. Whether this was mere curiosity on Edward's part or part of some crazy rogue Death Eater's (or some other enemy's- he had many) plan, he couldn't say. But he was now sure that while Edward could kill him, and on some level did want to, this everything was about solving the mystery that was Harry Evans (aka Harry Potter).

'_Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!_' Harry mentally yelled at himself, completely missing how a smirk started to form on Edward's face. _'He told me this last night! Why didn't I realize this then? Or earlier this morning? Blimey, I'm not following any of my training!_' Again Harry missed how Edwards smirk fell into a thoughtful frown. '_I was so focused on the fact that he wanted to kill Bella and I that I completely missed how this could be all to find out who I really am! But how would he know I'm not who I say I am when he has only been around me for a week? Outside sources maybe?_' Harry looked up at the now shocked Edward, not realizing that the creature hadn't known any of that- before now. '_Yeah, that's gotta be it. Maybe my paperwork wasn't all prim and proper. Possible. Not likely but that doesn't rule it out. Though the American Government sure was convinced, and they're more peculiar about paperwork than Hermione…'_

"Fine." Harry said with a huff, crossing his arms and leaning back into the plush passenger seat. With his movement Edward blinked a few times, but continued to look at Harry with those dark eyes he was so fascinated by. "So I'm not dead yet. Still doesn't make me any less wary of you. I mean, you could lose control of that… other half." And that was another thing that had dawned on Harry, one a bit more frightening than someone finding out who he really was.

Edward put the car in gear, but left his hand on the clutch for a minute before replying. "Let's just hope that doesn't happen." And with a startled look from Harry, Edward drove off down the road at speeds that Harry found even more frightening then last time considering what the creature just said.

Seemed like murder wasn't as distant as he had just convinced himself to be. Even more lovely!

'_He's a right git'_ Harry thought with another huff, turning to look out the dark window, barely recognizing the houses they passed before they were gone. He completely missed the smile that played out on Edward's lips or the sideways glance he earned. But what he didn't miss, like anyone would have, was the cool brush of Edward's hand against his own, light enough to be passed as an accident. But if there was anything Harry learned over his years at war, it was that nothing happened by accident, especially not when concerning an enemy. Acquaintance. Stranger. Whatever the two of them were to each other, it was no accident.

It wasn't until they pulled up in Taylor's driveway did Harry realize just what Edward had done. And as Harry turned to look at the other in shock, he gulped.

Edward's touch had been _cold_, not warm like a Dragon Hominid's would be. Those creatures' skin was always burning, he had been told; like fire beneath the skin. People say it was because of the dragon in them, but others say it's because of their cannibalistic tendencies that made them so fire-blooded as some people tended to call it. But that didn't matter since Edward had just narrowed his choices down to Hydro Sapiens and Vampires, the foremost being frightening, but the latter was simply _petrifying_. While both Dragon Hominids and Hydro Sapiens lived considerably longer lives than most wizards, they still died. Vampires did not, at least not naturally. And it was bloody hard to kill them any other way. So looking at it like that, Harry was terrified and yet strangely thrilled, almost as if eager to find out if Edward was a blood sucker or not. Not that he wanted his blood to be sucked because that just made him feel like a bunch of slim was running over his skin when he thought about it.

But Harry quickly reminded himself that Edward could still be a Hydro Sapien since there was no proof to prove one way or another. Hydro Sapiens also had cold skin, and sometimes on powerful ones, it was cold enough to freeze the body part that touched it. There had been one case in Canada (where it seemed every outrageous event happened) where a Hydro Sapien had frozen an entire village without lifting a finger, and then promptly melted everyone and everything since they can't maintain any ice forms for an extended period of time. But the reason this was so odd was because its anger had caused its skin to change the very temperature of the air around it to below freezing and for a wide range, which was the first major case of such thing recorded. Since their anger tended to cause reactions in temperature and weather, Harry thought it was still very likelythat Edward and his family could be Hydro Sapiens. Losing control like _that_ would be deadly, and easily explained why Edward was afraid of losing control.

Though Harry also had to consider that most Hydro Sapiens didn't have inner… selves... that wanted to kill people because of strong scents. Key word was _most_, and since none of the other Cullens seemed to want to kill him or Bella, he still couldn't erase it off the list. Edward could be outside that norm, maybe even insane.

He sure hoped that wasn't the case.

He didn't get to ponder on it any longer though because as soon as he exited the Volvo, Taylor bounced out of the house and threw himself at Harry, causing the wizard to stumble backwards and slip on a puddle. Only Taylor fell to the wet grass though, for Edward had grabbed Harry by the back of his jacket to keep him from going down with his drunken friend. Taylor pouted at this. "Su'pose to roll 'round with me in the mud Harry!" Harry blinked at that. Odd drunken thoughts Taylor had there. "You deny my love and push me to the side like a… peasant! Cut me deeper you can not!"

Harry sighed, leaning backwards in disbelief that he had decided tonight was the night he was following the magical rules. If he had only snuck back inside! "Taylor." Harry muttered. "You're bloody well pissed."

Taylor grinned that this. "That I am, good chap!" He was obviously one of those drunks that picked up on accents, Harry mused, leaning further back against the cool car out of amazement. "So ah… what's up with you two."

"What's up with-?" Harry froze, realizing just what he was leaning against, and it most certainly wasn't the Volvo.

It's was the Volvo's owner.

Harry yelped in shock, stumbling forward towards Taylor and running to stand behind his now standing friend, blushing madly. Taylor looked over his shoulder at him with a sloppy grin, but when Harry gave his friend a pleading look the other's eyes sparkled with mischief. Suddenly Taylor fell back into Harry's arms in faint, causing Harry to stare numbly at his friend's oddity. "Oh! I'm so weak!" Taylor cried, bringing an arm to cover his eyes. "My limbs are numb! My breath coming slowly…. Take me away Harry! Lead me to a secret place so I can die in peace! Hurry! My heart won't hold out any longer…"

Harry grinned down at his friend, suddenly getting what Taylor was doing, even if it was a piss poor job of it. He didn't believe for one second that Edward was fooled, but if it got him away from the creature, he wasn't complaining. "Oh Taylor! I shall do anything to make sure your dying moments are safe and secluded!" Harry buttered up his English accent, faking a face of sorrow. Probably wasn't a good one, Harry knew, but he started dragging Taylor around the side of the house anyways. When they were a few feet away, Harry grunted before whispering into Taylor's ear, "Lose some weight before the next time you faint in my arms." Taylor stuck his tongue at him none to discreetly.

Finally, after slipping a few times in the puddles and almost face planting into the ground**;** Harry had Taylor at the back of the house. The two of them sat down on the rocks outside, laughing. They got a few odd looks from the other drunken teens outside, but much weirder things than random laughter were common at parties so they walked away.

When their laughter died down, Taylor gave Harry a grin. "Think he bought that?"

"Taylor, no one would've bought that. Your acting skills are shit." Harry replied with a smirk of his own.

"Oh like yours aren't!" Taylor shouted back playfully. "I mean that English accent! Talk about fake!" The two boys got another round of laughs at that. "But really, why didn't he follow us?" Taylor tapped his chin in thought before having a light bulb moment. "I got it! He was too… too… shit I lost it. Beer time!" Harry's elbow was grabbed as Taylor dragged him into the house where the majority of the party was taking place**.**

After their eventful escape from the, as Harry liked to put it, stalker, three hours seemed to fly by out of Harry's mirth. He had tried staying in the shadows to avoid the students and the drinks they were trying to force him to drink, but Edward had quickly made the most secluded side of the room his own so Harry had no choice but to get pissed with the rest of the lot. Though when he could, he pored his drink into the plant near the kitchen, and by this time swore that the plant was swaying with the rest of the drunken crowd of teens. Tallying up what he couldn't safely avoid from drinking, he had knock backed a total of three shots and almost four beers, not many considering Taylor was having a drinking contest with a freckled boy named Jimmy, winning too by the looks of it. The kitchen's crowd was cheering them on in wild cheers and screams.

"Come on Taylor! Knock it back and fuck it!" One person yelled earning a few laughs and a halfhearted glare from Jimmy.

Taylor raised the drink above his head in a humorous battle cry, and then swiftly chugged the drink down. When it was finished he shouted, "I declare this drink royally fucked!" And the kitchen echoed with the roar of the crowd, reminding Harry faintly of the heavyweight boxing matches his uncle Vernon use to watch on the telly except this was much more intense and entertaining.

It was somewhere in between that declaration and Jimmy's own that Harry found himself being pulled to the back of the crowd by Edward, stopping in a dark corner Harry had seen a couple make out in only minutes before. Knowing that made him feel like he should be worried.

Edward appeared to tower over him when in reality Harry knew he was only a few inches taller then himself. Still, Harry straightened his shoulders and stood up to his full height to make the difference seem less. It didn't work out too well. "What'd you want Edward?" Harry nearly cringed when he noticed the slight slur in his voice, but that's what he got for not being able to say no to Charlie. Damn muggle and his loopy grins.

"You Harry. I want you."

Harry blinked a few times, confused. Either the drinks he had were stronger than he thought and he heard wrong or… not. He squinted at the beautiful creature in front of him, taking in his pale completion and flared nostrils, trying to see any sign that would prove Edward had said "You, Harry, are food" or "Harry, you look blue", not a sentence of pure lust. But as his eyes raked back up to meet Edward's he saw how dark they were, clouded over with that very lust he had heard in his rich, baritone voice. But this didn't make any sense to Harry because only a few hours ago he had come to the conclusion that Edward wanted him for information. Unless…

Unless Edward want to get information on him _because_ he liked him.

Or he was just using this as a ploy to get deeper inside Harry's heart to extract the information for some darker purpose, probably even hoping Harry was drunk enough not to notice and willingly fall into his arms in a fit of giggles.

Yeah, the latter sounded better.

"Piss off Edward." Harry mumbled, not bothering to keep his voice low. "I'm only tipsy."

Edward smirked, stepping closer so that their bodies were precariously ghosting the each other's, the lack of body heat Edward emitted all too clear to Harry. "I couldn't go to school for a week the first time I smelled you." Edward said deeply, his voice the only thing Harry could hear even though all around them a crowd cheered on Jimmy. "And I had only smelt you from across the parking lot." He bent his neck lower, his dark eyes moving nearer. "Think of all the smells out there. All mixing together, all becoming one. And then there was yours." Harry could feel Edward's breath against his lips and yet he still couldn't break eye contact and walk away. It was like a spell had taken hold of him and sent his heart into overdrive, pooling his blood lower in need. "Bella's was similar but even hers can't compare to how _intoxicated_ I get when I'm around you. You make me want you with by just standing still." Edward stepped forward as Harry stepped back against the wall, bodies melding together as Edward's lips came to meet Harry's. But just before they connected Harry snapped out of it and slammed his head against Edward's with a bang and causing the creature to lurch back in shock.

Harry gasped and held his hammering head in one hand while his other reached for his wand out of his want to flee. He had to get away from Edward or else his desire would ruin everything. It would be too much like giving up in the middle of war and dashing to the other side of the battlefield to shout at them to go ahead and finish you off, something he had thought of many times during the Second Wizarding War. But he never had then and he wouldn't now. At the moment he just needed to find his wand so he could get out of here. He _knew_ he had put in his front right pocket, but there was no piece of wood there besides the one he sporting due to the creature slowly recovering from his surprise behind him. He had felt his wand in that pocket just before Edward had picked him up and thrown him into the car without a doubt so where- His eyes widened and he froze.

His wand had fallen out of his pocket!

"Harry what's wrong?" Edward questioned as he walked around him to look at the unmoving wizard. Worry etched across his face when Harry's eyes continued to look straight in front of him in a trance like state, his heart pounding in fright now instead of want. This was not possible, he repeated to himself.

Slowly Harry looked up at the creature's face. This type of unexpected was not supposed to happen. His life could not turn out this much worse. A wizard without a wand was doomed, even if they could do minor spells wandlessly it didn't substitute for their original wand. _Nothing_ could. He had to find it, even if that meant getting the help from the one person he should really be trying to stay away from. Edward was unfortunately the only sober person with a car. So he closed his eyes, containing his fear, and said, "Edward I lost my wa- _watch_." He couldn't let him know he was a wizard. That would be suicide. "I need to find it. I _have_ to. Can you drive me to where you kidnapped me?"

"I didn't-" Edward stopped himself, sighing. "Yes I can. Come on."

Before Harry followed Edward into the rain he paused to look around the room, noticing Taylor jump around in victory with a watch loose on his wrist. It wouldn't do to say he found what he was looking for but not have a watch to back up his story. Deciding that he would return it later, Harry used his sneaking skills (which were quite poor considering his tipsiness) to grab the watch off Taylor, who didn't even notice the missing weight in his drunken state. Once it was in his pocket, he grabbed Edward's coat off the coat rack and walked out the door to the Volvo as he swung the coat onto his shoulders. As soon as he was seated it seemed Edward had the car burning rubber as he flew down the road, Harry silent until the car finally pulled to a stop next to the sidewalk he had been taken from hours earlier.

He jumped out of the car; looking right and left for any sign of his wand laying on the sidewalk through the darkness of night but all there was were shallow puddles and fallen leaves. Dropping to his knees he crawled on the grass to feel for any sticks, making his way slowly so he didn't miss his wand and accidentally break it. He looked up when Edward crouched down next to him and rested a cold hand on his cheek, the light pitter-patter of the rain filling their silence until Edward finally spoke. "I'll buy you a new watch if you want."

"You don't understand!" Harry yelled, gritting his teeth. He couldn't tell Edward what he was looking for or even why without giving away he was a wizard, and considering how many creatures hated wizards, that wasn't going to happen. But as Edward started to look puzzled he realized he'd have to come up with something, and best to put in as much truth as he could, which wasn't much. "It was a gift from my father. He passed away when I was a baby. It's the only thing I have left from him. Do you understand that? I _need_ it, not some other watch. I need _my_ watch." Edward retracted his hand and nodded, turning to scan the surrounding grass while Harry went back to crawling around. If he had the good eyesight of whatever creature Edward was this would be much easier, he knew, but he quickly put that thought out of his head as he found a stick. He quickly knew it wasn't his wand so he threw it behind him.

_Crack._

Harry stilled at the sound, instantly turning his emerald eyes to look at Edward's foot. Edward stared back as Harry's breathing became erratic, his lips falling open in a silent scream as time seemed to stop in this small part of the yard between two houses. Moments passed and the rain's beating was the only thing that told them the world still spun, but Harry didn't hear or feel as it started to pick up. He didn't care that his clothes were ruined or that his slight cold was going to get worse from the cold the downpour caused, because his life had literally been squished under Edward's left Nike sneaker.

His wand was broken and it was all because he signed up for Muggle Studies.

He _really_ should have taken Divination.

The creature moved to the side as Harry crawled over in desperation, nearly crying as he grabbed at what had broken under the other's weight. He couldn't believe it was true, that the one thing that allowed him to actually control his magic to a fine-tuned point was snapped. Because lets face it, Harry might've known wandless magic but anything past a minor spell he was rubbish at without his wand. He almost wanted to blame Edward for not seeing his wand laying right there, but then he remembered that Edward was looking for a muggle watch. If only he had told him he was a wizard and faced an eighty-nine percent chance of death like a brave a foolish Gryffindor he might still have his wand! Curse his Slytherin tendencies! He brought up the two pieces of wood to his face and stared at them numbly as a realization hit him.

He wanted to laugh.

And he did, dropping the two split pieces to the ground to hold his stomach as laughter spilled from his lips. It seemed like years before he finally got his hilarity under control, but when he did he grinned up at the bemused other. "Just a stick." He announced, still chuckling at his foolishness as he started crawling around once more to locate his real wand. He could feel Edward's eyes on his back, but Harry honestly couldn't care less because he still had a chance at finding his wand. It wasn't like someone had come outside at night just to grab what they would think was a stick, he hoped. But he couldn't be too sure that some muggles weren't stick collectors because he had heard of stranger things to collect in the wizarding world such as crystal balls. Really, what difference was there between one and another? Size, sure, but they were all as useless as the rest.

But in reality, Harry should have cared about what Edward was doing behind him because minutes later a soft shine caught the creature's eye, calling for him to pick of the smooth piece of wood that was slick with water. Not even a second later did Edward recognize what it was. He turned to watch his sable haired crush franticly search the grass for his lost item, and what that item was could only be the wand in his hand, not a watch like he had been told. It all made sense to Edward now- how Harry knew he wasn't human, why he wasn't fully afraid of that, why he was so secretive, and why he freaked over a simple twig snapping. So current question was, what was he going to do about Harry Evans being a wizard?

He would watch and wait, that's what. First thing he had to do was make sure this was Harry's and not just a relic from his magical father, because that was still semi plausible if he stretched his imagination a bit. Okay, a lot, but that was beside the point. Summarily he placed the wand into his pocket and called out the other boy's name. Harry looked up and stared at him with adult eyes, far too old for an eighteen-year-old human in Edward's opinion, not that he was complaining. That maturity was one of the things that drew him to the human. That and his smell, you can't forget that. "What does the watch look like?"

Harry cocked his head to the side, obviously thinking. So Edward pressed into those thoughts guessing these wouldn't be guarded like most of his others, and they weren't. He clearly saw Harry remembering how he had taken the watch off of Taylor's wrist and how Harry paid close attention to what the watch looked like right before the wizard pocketed it in the scene. He slipped back from the mind as Harry described it out loud to him, but he barely listened since he had already seen it. His mind drifted off to his crush's criminal movements and actions that he oddly found arousing, probably because he had never met a human so sneaky and that was a trait he held in good view.

Edward smirked, but controlled himself enough to turn around and pretend to continue looking. It wouldn't be right to take Harry's virginity in a stranger's mud covered yard, no matter how aroused he was or how erotic that would be. Pausing, he peeked at Harry's ass as the boy persisted to crawl around in search of his wand. He would definitely have to bring Harry back here one day after he stole his virginity the proper way to enact the vivid images running through his head. Harry was just lucky he couldn't smell his virgin blood at the moment due to all the rain blotting out every smell but the garbage cans to his far left. It was like the man above _wanted_ to destroy his arousal with smell alone. They had _obviously_ been sitting there for more than a week to reek _that_ bad.

Pausing, he looked up at the black sky with a sigh. He could have all the dirty thoughts in the world but the likelihood of carrying a single one of the out was exactly zero. Though Harry didn't seem to completely fear him, that didn't mean his own fear for losing control could ever be over looked. Killing the first person that truly made his heart feel for was something that gripped even someone as old as himself with fear and a sense of dread. Bottom line was, sex was off the to-do list for another decade. But could he risk a kiss?

With one more look at Harry, he knew that he would have to or else he was going to go crazy with want.

Thirty minutes later found a miserable Harry in his passenger seat as he drove the teen home after an "unsuccessful" search for the "watch". In truth he had found what Harry was so desperate to get back, but he figured he'd give it back to the human only when he was sure he wasn't going to harm him or his family because even though he loved the thrill of the risk, he wasn't stupid. Besides, he knew if the roles had been flip-flopped the wizard would have done the exact same thing.

As soon as he pulled into the Swan's driveway he quickly got out and opened Harry's door before the other could, but he got no reaction out of his infatuation when he did that, but that wasn't overly shocking in view of the state the teen was in. He walked him to the door and watched as Harry went inside without even as much as a goodbye. That saddened him, but he supposed he would've gotten one if Harry had found his wand, so it was his fault entirely that all he received was silence. He turned to leave when his sensitive nose picked up a similar putrid odor to the one he had smelt before. Searching, he found the trashcans to his right this time and he scowled. Wasn't there some kind of garbage man in this town? It was small, yeah, but even they needed to acknowledge the need for sanitation.

Following that event was one that started as Edward entered his home to meet the three gazes of Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett in the living room. Rosalie quickly buried her head into Emmett's bare shoulder as Edward came closer, shrieking at him. "I can smell the alcohol on you love-sick pig!" Emmett growled into her ear as a silent reminder to calm herself. She growled back but otherwise kept quiet as Edward took a seat next to Alice and gazed up at the ceiling to decide which topic he should breach first. Perhaps he should save the wizard part for last considering Rosalie's hate for them and everything else not like them. The blonde always seemed to forget that she was normal once too.

"So I sat on the couch for three hours." Edward finally ended up saying with a pathetic nervous scratch at his neck. It felt like he was telling them some deep dark secret whenever he talked to them about Harry, which was odd considering nothing else in his life he had ever tried to hide from his family. Of course, he really didn't have a life before his dead heart started yearning for the British Boy Wonder as so many girls, Alice included, like to call the wizard. "And he has some creative ways to get rid of his drinks without drinking them." He had particularly liked when Harry had grabbed some drunken girl's empty can from her hand and replaced it with his full one without her so much as blinking in his direction. It had been incredibly fascinating to watch the teen sly around the room like a thief, wondering how and why Harry had learned to fine point such an assassin like quality. Hopefully not from actually being an assassin, but he had been wrong before. "Oh and when I tried to kiss him he head butted me."

His family burst into giggles and chuckles at that, Alice nudging him playfully. "You got yourself a feisty one!" She stated with a smirk from Rosalie telling him that she approved of the fire in his human. But then Alice silenced as she stared torpidly at the wall, her eyes glassing over. Edward leaned forward with the rest of his family to wait to hear what vision she was having. When she finally came back to them, she blinked at Edward in confusion. "Edward," She started as her eyebrows knitted together. "Why is Harry crying?"

And then just like that, Edward ran out the door and raced through the woods and down the road until he came to a stop a little while later at the Swans house. He slunk around back, not even caring that the reeking odor seemed to be even stronger now that the rain had lightened up slightly. Jumping to the tree he knew was directly in front of Harry's window since he had been there to watch Harry in morbid fascination Thursday night, he peeked into the dark room and saw Harry on his bed. He looked closer but from this angle a thin sheet covered Harry's face, but he caught a sniffle leave the boy moments later. Without thinking, he opened the window and stepped into Harry's blue and white room with the hissing of the snake growing louder and more panicked with each silent step he took towards the bed.

"Harry?"

He had never seen a human move so fast before. Harry was suddenly sitting up and holding his pillow like he could use it as some sort of weapon. For all he knew, the wizard could. Maybe turn it into a bomb or sword or… something. He didn't know what wizards could do and he really should considering he had run across a family of them up in Alaska that had a tendency to spy on their neighbors. The youngest of them, if he recalled correctly, had even snuck into his house once to take a picture of Jasper sleeping. The only problem was he doesn't sleep. Needless to say, the family moved two days later.

But back to the present. Edward watched as Harry watched him, probably scanning through his head how and why he got in there and then on what he was going to do about it. He himself was speculating on why he had because as he looked at Harry's almost flawless face he didn't see any tear tracks or redness that would alert him to a crying human. But he remembered that sniffle, so it wasn't like he didn't have a reason, it just didn't seem as reasonable as he would have liked.

"Edward," Harry said cautiously as he angled himself a bit differently so the pillow's aim was less likely to miss if Harry decided to throw it. Edward almost wanted him too just for the laugh he'd get over Harry's shock face when he'd sides sweep it, but Harry held still, waiting. It slightly unnerved him how mature and battle ready his human was. Normal teens, probably even normal wizards, did not know what stance in what situation would benefit them the most. Even if Harry had taken some sort of self-defense class he knew that that knowledge only came with experience. "Why are you here?"

What could Edward say to that question? Harry was obviously not crying, but Alice had said he was. No, she said she had a vision of an event that would likely happen but not when it would. It could be a month, a year, or even a _decade_ away, he didn't know. What he did know though was he had been foolish just running off when Alice could have had more to say.

"I thought you were crying." Edward stated. Best to tell the truth he supposed.

Harry's eyes were intense as they stared at him. "Crying?" Edward nodded. "You mean you heard me sniffling?" Another nod. "I have a runny nose, probably from the rain. That's not a crime now is it because if it is you might as well arrest half the world. The common cold is after all, quite common."

"Oh." Was all Edward could say. Really, it all seemed too simple.

They starred at each other for a few moments before Harry moved his eyes to the window and then back at Edward. "Why were you out there then? Do you always watch me?" Yeah, Edward was busted. But truth be told this was only his second night of using the tree, and tonight was only because of Alice. Still, he had been planning on coming some nights the next week to watch Harry sleep because it amazed him. The boy looked so normal when he slept but when his eyes opened they turned guarded, like he knew first hand the turmoil of the world. Edward was really starting to wonder if this mystery was exactly what he was starting to think it was.

Still, he said nothing of that and turned to look at the window like Harry just had. He hoped that would be a sign that he wasn't going to attack Harry because he knew Harry knew that turning away from your supposed enemy meant that. That's why Harry had done it after all. "I have, once. Just to watch you sleep. It's… weird for me to see it." He turned back to Harry, baffled at why Harry's eyes were so wide with understanding. The boy grew tense, his knuckles white as he gripped onto the pillow. This was so strange Edward found himself unconsciously pushing into Harry's mind; pushing past the weak barriers he had been afraid to push past before in case the boy felt him inside his mind.

'_Vampire_!' Rang Harry's voice in his head, causing Edward's own eyes to enlarge. Did just saying he didn't sleep really narrow Harry's list down that far? Wasn't one of the other choices still probable? Last time he had heard Harry thinking there was something called a Hydro Sapien still on the list, did they sleep then? _'I should have known! I have to get Bella away from here just in case he starts going after her after I leave. It's not like I can stay with a bloodsucker stalking me! I should have listened to Hermione and owled the Headmistresses! She always knows best. I need to leave! I have to -'_ Edward pulled back from the thoughts and examined Harry's face as it change from shocked, to afraid, to sad, to challenging, to closed and as it was starting to open again Edward had enough. He strode forward and roughly grabbed Harry's collar before the boy could react and planted his lips against the other's almost violently just so he would stop thinking about leaving. Harry couldn't do that, not when the fun was just starting. Think of the challenge! Think of the danger!

At first Harry went limp from the abruptness of the kiss, then Edward grunted as Harry's open palm went into his stomach and pushed up painfully into his ribs, the human trying to back out of the kiss at the same time but Edward still held onto the back of his head forcefully. The pain was awakening his blood thirst but he controlled it. What he couldn't control was his physical lust for Harry, even with knowing that if he didn't the part of him that made him a damnation to the world would fully awaken and at the same time his hunger would be uncontainable. Though he couldn't break away from the kiss until Harry knew he couldn't leave, until he knew that there was still more mystery that needed to be solved. Because Edward only knew part of Harry and Harry only knew part of him. Because they still had untold pasts waiting to be shared and known, to be written on each other's hearts.

And because Edward knew there could be more between them. More then just friends and enemies. More then any title the English language put on his jumbled feelings, because they couldn't be simplified like that.

Harry finally stopped struggling and was now just still, so Edward pulled back from the plump lips and looked him in the eyes, tempted to read his thoughts again but decided some things were best left unknown. "Yes Harry, I'm a vampire." He might as well confirm that. "And I'm a vampire that wants you more than anything thing else but is holding himself back because he wants you to want him too. And," Leaning his forehead against Harry's, he looked deeper into those still wide, spring meadow eyes. "And he wants you to want him more than just physically, though is all for it if you decide to do something about _that_." He felt a smirk on his lips as Harry blushed, again trying to turn his head but Edward didn't let go of his hair to allow him. "There's still more you want to know about me, isn't there? If you leave now, you'll never be able to know. So," He angled his head to kiss Harry again. "Think about-"

_Crash. Bang. Thump._

Edward didn't know what happened. One minute he was about to kiss Harry and the next he was on top of a broken desk from being thrown across the room. As he looked up he saw Harry still on the bed with his arms out in front of him as if he pushed Edward, but he knew magic was somehow involved because no human was that strong. Unless Harry himself wasn't human and the wand still in his pocket _was_ actually a relic of his father's. He knew there were plenty of other creatures that had super strength, though that left the question of why his strength only now showed up. Maybe so Edward wouldn't think he was anything but human?

This was too confusing, but he loved it like that.

"Get out." Harry said a bit breathlessly, obviously trying to control his magic, or his own inner creature. He didn't know. Now more than any other time he wished Harry's mind wasn't so caged. "Now!" Edward nodded, deciding that at the moment it wasn't the best time to question Harry about the mysteries. He stood with grace and only took a second before he was at the window and jumping down to the ground to meet the malodorous stench yet again. There was such a difference between Harry's musty mixed with oranges aroma and _this_.

He paused to see Harry closing his window and shutting the blinds and was about to head back home when he noticed the most peculiar site. There, over to his left was there was something like a small, invisible barrier six feet off the ground where rain hit it and then slid off down the side, almost like an umbrella. No, almost like an invisible man holding an equally invisible umbrella. It didn't help that that smell seemed to be coming from that direction.

But as soon as Edward took one step forward a loud _Pop_ rang out and Edward's instinct made him crouch down from thinking it was a gunshot. He rolled over on the grass and stood again; about to lunge at the invisible spot but when he looked there was nothing strange there anymore. Even the smell had disappeared. Definitely magic, Edward mused as he search the area with the utmost caution, but there was nothing but nature and the Swan's house. He figured the pop was probably caused by the thing, whatever it was, teleporting away.

As Edward turned to leave, he wondered just whom Harry Orion Evans was and why someone beside himself was stalking him.

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So about the wand 'snapping'… how much in shock were you at first? And how'd you like how Harry narrowed it down to Vampire? Not so usual huh?

Oh and how'd you like how I ended it in Edward's POV? I figured I do it that way since a lot of you wanted it like that and it made it a lot more interesting for the plot if Harry didn't know about his other... stalkers... right away. But don't take it as he's being stupid for not noticing! Because though the snake hisses at the window all the time, to Harry it seems like a normal thing the snake does since he just got it. Though you can tell he's getting suspicious.

Hope you like the length! Over 10,000 words! (Makes up for the wait I think so yay)

_**Feedback is simply lovely! So please Review!**_


	5. Chapter 4

**WARNING: THIS IS SLASH. **

**_I NEED YOUR HELP!!!!_**  
_Like my sister, I am horrible at nicknames and names and everything similar so I'm taking her idea and asking you readers if I can use some of your pen names for some of my characters. A lot of you have great names and I'd love to use a few of them. Just let me know!_

_**Disclaimer**_: I have no claim, in any way or form, over either Harry Potter or Twilight, and I do not pretend to. I do however, own this plot, and though it's based on both stories, it veers dramatically away from both at one point in time. So do not steal it please!

_**A/N: **_Ok, first there's the usual thank you to my reviewers, because you guys rock my world with your words! Though it seems like I have to say this yet again, but this is the **last time** I'll repeat it:

It's _canon_- I repeat- _CANON_! (As in I didn't just poop the idea out of my head and run with it) that Harry can no longer speak Parseltongue. He only had that ability because he was a horcrux of Voldemort's, and when he died and killed the one inside of him, the ability to speak Parseltongue _left_ him. Yes, I know that most writers on FF overlook this and that's probably why you guys are all confused and constantly reminding me that he should understand his snake when in reality he _shouldn't_.

Sorry to the rest of my reviewers that you have to deal with my rather rude rant against those silly people and the others who will (hopefully) come upon my story. Just trying to prevent those poor fellows from confusion, you know how it is.

Now about chapter four! This chapter further introduces Harry's other stalkers with an interesting scene that I hope puts you on the edge of your seats. Actually I hope the whole chapter has you ripping your hair out from all the 'Did that really just happen?' moments. Also it shows Harry's war training- which is closer to what I think it should have been in the later books but since I'm still trying to be canon I can't go overboard and make Harry a mathematical genius and… well you get my point. He's still funny bunny Harry trying to figure out what the hell is going on in his life but without a wand now. Oh the horrors.

_Beta-ed by **MistyFire**. She just saved a bunch of you from a whole lot of __misinterpretation and questions. _

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**Definitely Not Disney  
**_By Shadow Hunt_

**Chapter Four**

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Harry Potter could now add another two words within the story of his life: "Royally Fucked". They would be big and bold, and could probably even be the title of his story because those two words seemed to appear quite a lot, especially recently. Because really, when you throw vampires into a story you simply have to have those two words since they're the only ones that can really get the feelings across. There's fear, mystery, anger, lust, love and of course an overflow of confusion, and Harry felt all of these (except maybe love) times ten the Sunday morning following his discovery of what creature Edward was. It also followed the disappearance of his wand and the wary _pop_ he heard not too long after Edward had jumped out his window that sounded suspiciously close to an apparation pop. But vampires, even if they were a wizard in life, could not use magic. Magic might have initially changed them into predators, but after the change it leaves them with organs and bones that can't age and the addition their natural weapons. Not even a drop of magic left in their bones. And that lead Harry to yet another problem.

Some wizard had found him, and whether that wizard meant harm or not was still left to be decided. First thing he had to do though was figure out who this person was and if this person was working with Edward, then he could more easily figure out their intentions. Well he hoped it would be easy but without a clue as to where to start, he realized that it wouldn't be. It's not like he could simply ask Edward since there was a chance that Edward wasn't in some plot against him and therefore had no knowledge that he's a wizard. Harry had yet to realize that Edward suspected he was one through observations of his own the previous night starting with the finding of his wand.

It was around this time that an owl flew into his room, which was odd considering it was ten in the morning and the Headmistress had said that all owls were to only be received at night in case a muggle noticed the air traffic. Harry didn't know how they assured this, but he had guessed that some spell had been placed on the window or even around the house. The fact was that an unfamiliar owl was in his house with the sun up and shining, carrying a rolled piece of parchment with a red seal poking out. Harry inched close enough to be able to see the Black family crest on the seal, but the oddity of this prevented him from reaching for the parchment. He did after all just find out about a new stalker. But after a few moments of looking at the family crest, he remembered Andromeda Tonks explaining to him once that family crests could only be used as seals by people with the family blood as long as the parchment it was on were made of any wood with magical properties. A quick once-over assured him that the parchment was made of a burnt olive tree, magical and symbolic if he remembered correctly. Being burnt meant either the sender was in danger or the receiver was and the olive tree obviously meant peace. Considering the peculiar combination, Harry translated it into a wizard or witch in the Black family needed his help or was offering it.

With that in mind he made his way over to the owl, wishing immensely that he could cast a few spells over the owl to be sure of his theory but without his wand he could only cast a spell that made sure the owl's feathers wouldn't turn into spikes on touch and cut up his hand, which he did right away and came back negative. But right before he actually touched the letter, he paused. He suddenly remembered that Andromeda had also said that a wizard could add any slight change to the family crest and then be able to use it as a seal with ease. And it wasn't like he had memorized every line and movement of the Black family crest. They could also use another seal entirely but use a spell to make it look like the Black family crest. So he withdrew his hand and backed up again to sit on the edge of his bed, looking at his magically repaired desk to try and decide what to do.

Deciding it would be best to try and narrow down the sender and work from there, he reseated himself at his desk and began a list on whom it could be.

_**List of Plausible Senders**_

_Black Family:_

_Andromeda Tonks  
__Teddy Lupin  
__Narcissa Malfoy  
__Draco Malfoy_

_Other:_

_Alive Death Eaters  
__New Stalker(s)_

Harry sat back and looked down at the list frowning. The only one he could automatically cross off was his godson Teddy since he didn't think the kid even knew his ABC's yet. But besides that, the Black family list was too small and the others could technically be anybody. What he could do though was start crossing off the Blacks and see if he would even need to start pulling names out of the 'Other' list and narrow those down too. If he was going to start anywhere, it'd be with Draco considering he was really the only one on the list that had a reason to think he was in danger, though Andromeda was the most likely person to want to help him. Then again, Narcissa was in with the gossip and therefore could easily learn if there was a plot against him. She would probably warn him just so he would be in debt to her.

More confusion. More mystery. This called for a cup of tea.

He made his way to the kitchen slowly and made his tea even slower. Charlie had made sure to stock up on some teabags when Harry had told him he would rather tea over coffee. Though it had unfortunately taken Charlie a week or so to find the right one. See, Bella was too picky, Charlie got freaked over the odd colors (as in green tea), and American tea simply wasn't up to par to British tea in Harry's mind. Once the tea was ready Harry leaned against the counter, sipping his tea as Bella made her way into the kitchen at the warming smell.

"Morning Harry!" Bella said with a stretch of her arms, making her way over to the teapot and pouring herself a cup. Harry nodded back, still trying to figure out how he was to go about narrowing down the Black family list as Bella sat down at the kitchen table. Her sigh brought him out of his thoughts, and reminded him of his other assignment which was to break her of her obsession of Edward. The lie about Edward hitting his old girlfriend was something Harry hoped Bella had thought over throughout the past week, but without breaching the subject and possibly upsetting her, he wouldn't be able to tell if he needed to pull out some of his other tricks. Luckily though she brought it up first. "Harry, I noticed you dress a bit nicer than most people. Not overly but just enough to get you notice."

Harry shrugged, taking another sip of his tea. "Sure I guess. I have this friend back home who's crazy about fashion and after the–" hehushed himself before he said something about the war. Muggles knew that Britain had gone through some troubles but they mostly thought it was economic problems. That was the excuse most magical governments used when a magical war broke out and muggles bought it every time. So he figured it was safe to go along with that. "After we got our money problems under control she forced me into the mall and picked out a new wardrobe for me. I wasn't going to buy them but Lavender got my other friend Luna to throw out my old clothes." Actually Luna had permanently transfigured his clothes into carrots and then fed them to the garden gnomes, but Harry was sure he'd get a weird look for saying that.

Bella seemed to mull over that for a little bit before she replied, "I think I need a new wardrobe too. I'm not one big on fashion but I guess I could do better than what I have now. Maybe a few nicer shirts, ya know?" This was a strange thing for Bella to say in view of her casual style so Harry took a not-so-wild guess that she was doing this for Edward. She probably thought that Harry's style of clothes was what made Edward want to be friends with him in the first place. Harry wanted to tell her otherwise but what could he say? That it wasn't because of his clothes but because he smelled like a Chicago hotdog to the teen vampire? Or because Harry was mysterious since he was hiding his last name, his involvement in the Second Wizarding War, and a little thing called magic? Oh yeah, that would go over well.

"Bella are you doing this for Edward?" Best to be sure after all.

"No!" Bella said too quickly with a look of a caught puppy on her face. All the confirmation Harry needed.

Placing his tea back onto the counter, Harry walked over to Bella and sat on the chair next to her. He even took her hand in his for an added measure. "Bella," Harry started. "A guy isn't worth changing yourself for." He was playing a little softer trick, but since he didn't think that would completely win her over, he added, "Especially not one as rude and different as him. I mean any guy that hits girls" (Kills people.) "Isn't the type of guy for you. You deserve better than that." Edward though deserved a dead snake (Amkemil maybe?) for a lover, and not even one with both eyes and all of its skin.

He had Bella squirming in her seat. She looked as if she wanted to agree with him but after a few moments something seemed to hit her and she shook her head. "It might be stupid of me but I want to get to know him and see if he's really as bad as you say he is. I already got dad to give me some money for my little shopping spree before he left for work anyways, so I think I'm going to get Jessica to help me with picking everything out."

Harry was about to reply when an idea hit him. If she was going into town, then if he rode with her, he could take a cab or bus from there to Redmond, the closest magical town, and find the owlery so he could simply ask Draco and Andromeda if they sent the sealed letter or not. Of course the messages he would send them would need to be coded but Harry would have time to think of what to say on the way there. While he was there it would probably be smart to stock up on a few magical items and try to find something or someone that would help him track down his wand. So he quickly asked Bella if it was all right for him to go and after she agreed, he went back to his room to get ready. He eyed the rolled parchment on his windowsill with caution but there was nothing more he could do but close his blinds and magically lock his windows so no one could see the letter or get to it easily if they knew it was there. He wished he could move it but he couldn't touch it and using any sort of magic on the letter such as a Wingardium Leviosa might activate a magical trip wire on the parchment. Not good, so he left it there without another thought and left with Bella and Jessica about an hour after magically changing his hair to a lighter shade of brown and his eyes to blue so in town no witch or wizard had a chance at recognizing him. But he did have to wear a hat and sunglasses so Bella and Jessica didn't notice the changes on the ride there.

Once in town he had to wait another thirty minutes for the bus to arrive and from there, him and a larger man with a slight odor boarded the bus and made their way to Redmond. It was a long ride with only him, the bulky chap, and an elderly lady who was apparently going to stay with her grandson (she liked to chitchat Harry had quickly realized and was glad when the lady fell asleep. An Asian woman boarded about thirty minutes to their destination who had Harry taking a few extra glances her way, but when he tried to make conversation she plugged a music device into her ears and prevented him from trying again. Shame too Harry mused, she was right fit if not downright cracking! Only thing that Harry thought would make her even better was different color eyes since hers were a dull brown and not a golden brown like Edward's- Harry blushed and shook his head. He was not going to think about the vampire, the rather hot, needy, and almost too perfect kiss, or those gorgeous eyes today or tomorrow or any other day. Too bad ten minutes latter he found himself daydreaming about said taboo creature and none too innocently either.

Hormones were to blame of course. Only a few kisses, one failed make-out, and years of getting to know his hand logically made him ready to jump anybody, male or female. Because though he had never specifically classified himself as straight or bent, he had always thought he leaned more towards the birds. Maybe it was just the vampire attraction that made him bending, maybe not. But whatever ever it was, Harry knew that there was no way he in fact was solely attracted to Edward because he was, well, Edward. That'd be silly.

…Right?

That silly talk was pushed out of his thoughts when he was unable to do anything but cheer when the bus driver stopped and announced they had arrived. The man next to him grinned and clapped with him, which had Harry blushing at his foolery, but at least he wasn't being laughed at. In fact, the man turned to him and said, "You're really something Harry." Then the two of them parted and Harry made his way to the closest bookstore. Most bookstores have some sort of hint to where the magic district is because even if they put it in plain sight for muggles to see, they only think it's an advertisement for another book. As he stopped to wait for the light to turn green so he could cross the street, his eyes went wide as he came to another horrible and shocking realization.

He had never told the bloke his name.

"Oh bloody fucking hell!" Was all Harry could say, earning a few shrewd glances, but Harry was running back towards the bus stop before he even had a chance to notice them. The bus sign came into view and as he skidded to a halt next to it he looked around the busy street for any mark of the man, no matter how unlikely, and came up with nothing. He nearly wanted to scream in frustration. He needed answers! But before he became too frantic his eyes fell upon the geezer who had boarded the bus leaning against the brick stairs to a nearby building. She was probably waiting for the next bus Harry decided as he walked over to her and he wasted no time getting her attention. "Have you seen the large man we were riding with on the bus ma'am? I need to find him." Harry asked with shifty eyes.

The elderly lady smiled at him. "Sure hunny bunny." She reached into her purse for what Harry could only assume was for a pencil and paper for directions but when her hand came back out of her purse it was holding a wand. "He's right behind you." Harry's eyes widened and he dropped to the ground and turned on the balls of his feet in his crouched position to face the other as a spell flew over his head and hit the man in question. The man fainted on contact, which caused the lady to let out a string of curses using the name "Horse" for her partner in a rather different and slightly younger sounding voice then he had heard from her before. As she started another wand movement Harry darted into the crowd to run blindly around the busy and swearing people. A kid fainted next to him from intercepting a spell and that almost made Harry turn back to try and hurt the woman with his bare hands before he convinced himself that he could get payback later when he actually had a chance at winning. Without a wand though, he feared that that chance might be a while from now.

Harry supposed that the couple had cast a notice-me-not charm around the bus stop otherwise there would have been chaos the moment the man had fainted. With the thought of chaos he promptly pulled his magic into his right arm like he had when he pushed Edward away and flung it out while still in motion to cut down a lamppost, sending it flying into the street. People launched into screaming and scattering, giving Harry a perfect opportunity to cross the street unnoticed and enter a small department store. He was still running as he went through the back door to the street behind the shop with several screams from the workers. He paused momentarily to look around and when he spotted a FedEx delivery truck being loaded he swiftly flew himself into the back of the truck and hid behind a hefty box so the delivery man didn't see him when he went back to shut the door to the cargo.

Only when the truck started to move did Harry finally let out a breath of relief. His heart was pounding and he was out of breath from the scare he had just received. Sitting up slightly he moved into a more comfortable position so he could think over the events more properly. After running through them twice he pulled together profiles of the couple. The man known as Horse oddly reminded him not of a horse but of a bear. His hair was shaggy and his brown eyes were slightly set in with a stout nose in the middle of them. He was even quite bulky, but not necessarily fat. The clothes he wore had been in uniform fashion and therefore Harry had to assume he had a high paying job, but the scruffiness of the jacket and his slight odor indicated he was a slob and was more than likely a lackey. The old lady on the other hand was a slight confusion considering how much Harry doubted the lady was as old as she had appeared, probably magically disguised no doubt. A few glamours here and there and you could look like a bleeding octopus if you really wanted. But all in all, neither one of them gave off a dodgy vibe, and in fact gave off the complete opposite. So who were they? He had no idea, but he sure as hell was going to find out even if he had to burn the whole city down in search of them.

On second thought he'd rather not get stuck in an American prison for being an arsonist. He'd heard their phrase "don't drop the soap" to describe the prisons a bit too many times for comfort.

But at the moment he had to worry about the deliveryman finding him since the truck had stopped, not about what would happen if he dropped the soap. He moved back behind the largest box and crammed his joints in the small space he had to work with, blinking rapidly as light pored into the dark he had slowly been growing accustomed to. A gruff voice was speaking in a hushed tone to the truck's left but Harry could only make out a few words, and then another voice sounded from the right talking about his girlfriend, so Harry figured these two guys were of a neutral party. They took out two boxes from in front of the box Harry was hiding behind and then shut the door again and began to move down the street.

After what seemed like forever, the driver's cell phone ran and stopped the man from singing along to some rap song on the radio. Harry held his breath in shock of the ring tone and waited to hear the man exclaiming something about how he had no idea he was carrying a stowaway and was already loading his gun to take care of his little problem. "Hello? Ah hey! What'cha need?" He paused and Harry pressed his ear against the metal separating him from the other in a poor attempt to hear the person on the other side of the phone. "Well sure hun, I can do that. Just milk and eggs right?" Another pause and then he laughed. Harry couldn't decide if this laugh was manically done or not. Since he didn't plan on dying any time soon he put his hands together and prayed to Merlin that the next sounds weren't the loading of a gun. "Got'cha. Now you be ready for me sweetie! Love ya! Bye!" And then he hung up and began to sing yet again, letting Harry relax and grin his goofy grin at how paranoid he had become in the last few minutes. Finding himself falling back to what he'd been growing accustomed to for the time he had been riding as a stowaway was easy. The heavy jerking of the truck and obnoxious music wasn't all that bad if you compared it to that muggle prison he couldn't seem to get out of his head. He was just glad he could hear and feel anything at all really.

Harry didn't doze off but it seemed that one minute they were still steadily speeding down the street and the next the truck was coming to a slow stop. Weighing his grim options, he moved into a crouched position so as soon as the door opened he could make his great escape. He didn't know where he was but maybe he could risk an apparation as soon as he was safe enough, but like he had decided earlier, that would be suicide. Apparations were too easy to track and magical signatures were too pronounced to use in a situation such as this. But without apparating he'd be lost on the Redmond streets, and if they were anything like the ones he'd heard New York had, he'd be sold to prostitution before he could say "virgin". Or perhaps that wasn't the best thing to admit when in that certain situation…

And then the door opened and he pushed forward with his feet to bang out into the open and past two shocked men. He made a quick assessment of his surroundings and discovered he was in an unloading garage for packages so he guessed that most of these doors lead to rooms that had machines sorting letters and packages out. He'd need to find one that lead outside or find a way past the trucks, but going backwards was never a good thing in chases. Besides, the men he had rushed by were already starting to realize what was going on and were pointing him out to other burly men so that left only one option: to run blindly and madly through a random door ahead of him. He did just that and came into an office with another door to the right leading into a letter sorting room. He looked around the letter room in confusion, wondering how he was suppose to get to the other side of the room through this maze of machines, but as soon as he heard shouting behind him in the office he decided his course of action. He sprinted forward and then started leaping over the conveyor belts, trying to escape the men behind him. If they caught him and sent him to jail the couple that had cornered him earlier would have an easy time finding him. And the soap. You couldn't forget his fear of dropping it.

"Get the runt!" He heard one of the men shout as he ran through another door, and yet another door a moment later. It seemed like a never-ending maze but he knew that the workers had to be able to get out of here so he could too. And just when it seemed that all hope was lost he saw a window and a door to its side. A grin grew on his face as he neared the door, knowing that as soon as he was out of it he was free. It was so close now. He could finally stop running once he was safe. He could-

A spell hit his legs and sent him sprawling against the cement floor. His breath was knocked out of him but still he tried to leap back up for the door. It was so close! But his legs were numb from the effect of the spell so the most he could do was crawl with his hands in a useless effort for escape. When he realized that he should save his energy Harry stopped, wondering if he could risk an apparation. After hearing footsteps nearing him he decided that that was his only choice, no matter that he'd be on the run from maybe more powerful people soon after he landed. Harry took a heavy breathe to concentrate drawing his magic into him, then pictured his muggle school and let his magic run through him with a sense of freedom.

That freedom left him when he slammed right up against an anti-apparation ward.

_Oh shit._

"So you're a wizard huh?"

_Shit, shit, fuck!_

The clicking of heels meeting cement seemed to echo to Harry, though instead of getting quieter it got louder. He didn't even have the will to turn and face his capturer though his training was urging him to with a nagging voice oddly sounding like Hermione. With her in mind he wondered what she would do. Most certainly squish the buzzing (and downright annoying) little bug on his left ear while simultaneously reciting a recipe for pie and memorizing the numbers for pi, if she hasn't already of course. And why oh why was his stomach rumbling at a moment like this? He didn't even like pie that much. Well that wasn't true. He clearly recalled almost dying from eating too much of Mrs. Weasley's "sorry-I-hated-you-for-breaking-up-with-my-daughter" apple pie a month or so ago, but Harry slowly realized that none of that mattered. What mattered was Hermione would already be at home reading a book and so far he was still stuck on the rather cold floor of a FedEx letter room. Of course, Hermione also had a wand while he didn't. That might be a slight unfair advantage.

Then he heard it. A chuckle. And it was coming from his attacker. Was his hunger a blessing in disguise? A moment later he found out it was when she said, "I've got a soft spot for street rats so if you promise to behave I'll feed you and let you be on your way- Just no more scaring my drivers, got it?" It'd be insane not to play the role of a street rat so with a mumbled yes the lady restored his legs back. With his legs finally mobile he turned to face the lady and found himself facing a dwarf. Not a midget but an actual magical dwarf in red platform heels and a lime green suit with a nametag so bright and flashy Harry couldn't read what her name was. Though Harry honestly didn't know what scared him more: the outfit or her. Not only were dwarves known for their poor manners and erratic tempers, her green eyes were hardened with war and only the wide smirk on her face kept him from trying to flee again. Plus, anyone that wore purple lipstick had to have some sort of fun side right? That or she knew the exact way to make people let their guard down around her so she could… did dwarves eat people? Or did they just gnaw on their bones? Was the latter any better then the foremost?

"Get up and trail me like a stray puppy or be starved like one." Harry nodded quickly and followed her orders in a worried rush. They past through several more rooms before they came to a stop in a rather lavish and colorful office that Harry new instantly had to be hers. It had a yellow and pink poke-a-dotted loveseat and a painting above that that oddly reminded him of a diamond filled with what Harry could only guess was people. The dwarf went over to a small fridge perfect for her size and pulled out a sandwich perfect size for a whole football team, setting it on her desk and pushing half of it towards him. His stomach rumbled again at it's sight and another chuckle left her lips. "Eat up."

Now, before anything more about this slightly off meeting of dwarf and man is said, it should be noted that Harry, no matter that he knew better, did actually take a bite out of the sandwich. The risk of being poisoned, for the barmiest of reasons, was not a something in his mind at this moment even when a (fake) granny and a slob had attacked him almost as soon as he entered Redmond and then was soon after chased by a handful of deliverymen and workers under this woman's command. There is no explanation for his lack of judgment except for maybe his hunger, but even then this slip up in his training was one thing Harry regrets later on in life. Being indebted to a dwarf, especially to this corporate mastermind, was not a good thing to happen to our young hero.

Fast-forwarding a few bites into Harry's half of the turkey and bacon, cheese sandwich, the dwarf laid her own mostly eaten half back down on the table and pulled out a small bottle full of lavender colored liquid. This seemed to bring Harry back to his present situation like a pinch brought most people out of their dreams. She grinned at his expression and leaned towards him with her arms neatly on the desk. "Your half of the sandwich was poisoned. You have fifteen minutes before you start convulsing and seventeen before your joints start popping out of place and separating from your body- starting with your toes. This here," She held up the bottle. "Is the antidote." Harry quickly tried to grab for it but even though dwarf's reflexes tend to be slow, she was expecting this so she easily moved her hand slightly upwards so he would miss. "I will give it to you if you answer every single one of my questions without pause. If you lie even once I will destroy this and good luck getting to the closest hospital in time."

He should have risked prison when he had the chance. To hell with the soap.

No, he should have just opened the damn letter he got in the first place so he wouldn't be out here with poison running through his blood.

Or maybe he should have gone through with his plan to board the next plane back to London last night instead of persuading himself out of it after all his bags were packed.

Point was, he was here, and he was royally fucked. Unfortunately, this wasn't something he could blame on Edward, no matter how much he wanted to blame someone other than himself. He's the one that forgot his training and took food from an enemy, not Edward nor Bella or even bloody Draco. "Alright." Harry said through a shaky voice, running his hand through his hair out of a nervous habit he had thought he cured himself of months ago. "Ask away."

The dwarf nodded and sat back up straight. "I want to know who you are, exactly the trouble you're in, and how you knew to come to me for help. And remember, one lie and this here is gone." She held up the bottle again and Harry couldn't help but glare. He wondered if he could use a wandless Wingardium Leviosa on the bottle but figured the moment she sensed a lick of magic she'd destroy the antidote. Though if he recalled correctly, dwarves weren't particularly sensitive to magic unless it was classified under earth or metal magic so since Wingardium Leviosa was surely not under either of those two classifications he might be able to get a hold of it. Maybe. Moody would remind him that it wasn't worth the risk about this time, if the old geezer was still alive to do so that is. And he wasn't, so Harry would have to rely on everything Mad-Eye had taught him to get through this interrogation with the least amount of damage to himself. "Time's ticking boy."

"My name is Orion Black, pureblood son of Sirius Black and Sophie Char and blood heir to the Black family fortune." This was one of the personas the Headmistress had been contemplating over giving him for his trip over here but had quickly marked it off the list after thinking it might raise some serious questions, but at the moment, it served its purpose. He was important enough to not be overlooked and definitely not to a woman who, if she was in the business of lending a helping hand like she had implied, would know of the shady business the Black family had run while still powerful among the European magical community. Plus, both alleged mother and father were dead along with most of their pureblood family members (which was made noticed in the very small list he had written earlier that morning) so there was no one to say otherwise. "I'm over here in the US through a foreign exchange program and under the name Harry Orion Evans to abate suspicion, though I see that failed." He laughed softly as if he found that funny. "I'm actually here to close a business deal with a very important client of mine but on my way to the meeting I was attacked by an unknown witch and wizard. Your delivery truck was simply my means of escaping the couple. I had no idea you would be at its destination. I do however want to know how you knew I was a stowaway, because looking over the speed in which I was caught, I have to assume that you were waiting for me."

Neither the dwarf's face nor body had moved the slightest at any piece of information he had given her. This fact further proved his theory that she was trained for war and no doubt served her time in the armed forces, but since he doubted the American army would allow what they would think was a midget into the army, he took a wild guess that she had belonged to some magical force. Maybe a spy or informant considering the tactics she had displayed. "Keep in mind Black that I am the one asking the questions, not you. But since that information is grouped in with what I plan to tell you if you accept my offer, I will let that slide."

"And what is this offer you speak of?" Harry folded his hands in his lap like any pureblood would do. Rule number one: always look and act like nothing is wrong. That meant no freaking out over the poison's fifteen-minute countdown he was given about two minutes ago. Harder said then done.

He could tell that she didn't like how he was slowly taking over the conversation but purebloods were not submissive and tended to be control freaks. Being anything different then that would raise her suspicion higher then this would raise her anger. "I offer information and a way out of my territory unharmed. You see, your two attackers are outside my building waiting for me to find you. The only reason they are not inside here themselves is because of me. They made you seem relatively important so I figured having you in my deck of cards could prove rather useful in the future."

"So basically I can either accept and be at your services until you feel I've repaid you or I can not accept and either die or be handed over to my attackers- which ever aids your plans better really." The woman nodded as if she were agreeing on a dress color. "You don't leave me much of a choice do you?"

She stretched one hand out to him in handshake, transferring the antidote over to him in the process. "I simply helped you make the right choice." Harry quickly chugged back the potion in relief. "For me that is." His eyes sharpened and turned to look her fully in the eyes as he carefully set the bottle back on the desk. This could not be good. "You see Mr. Black, you were never poisoned. The potion you have just taken has ensured that my services will be repaid equally so you may have to rethink any plans you might have been forming to skip town."

Basically what she was saying was that his earlier panic attack had been over nothing. How _lovely_ this was all looking to be.

And yes, the last line should be read with complete sarcasm and a glare in the dwarf's general direction. Add in a rude hand gesture if you would.

"None had been formed yet so that shouldn't be a problem." Harry replied a bit coldly but it still received a grin from the other. "Now that we're, should we say business partners? I suppose so." Nodding slightly to himself to make it seem like he was simply classifying this as another meeting, he continued. "As I was saying, now that we are business partners I think it's only right that I know your name and what information you have to give me on my attackers."

"Of course." She got up to grab a file from inside a file cabinet and laid it down in front of herself. "My name is Azenet Hathor, twelfth in line to Helen's Throne," Helen's Throne meant queen of the American, Canadian, and Mexican dwarves and small goblin clans. Her palace, like it wasn't completely obvious, is in Mount Saint Helens. "And North West Regional Communication Supervisor for Area Forty-Seven of the American Magical Government."

Harry blinked slowly at the long and undoubtedly powerful title she carried. This was not just some FedEx manager who most likely had military experience he was dealing with here, but a member of dwarven royal blood line (no matter how distant) and a high ranking official of the American Magical Government. So that left one question: "How did someone of your high standings end up dealing with someone like me?" (Me as in Orion Black, shady business owner over in America through a foriegn exchange program doing his shady business in her "territory".)

She chortled dryly. "As far as I was told, the Western Sector of Area Twenty-Two only wanted you for questioning and since you've so far said nothing incriminating, I'm not doing anything that could jeopardize my job. Not being able to find a stowaway isn't a federal offense." Harry raised his eyebrow but said no more. "Now to what you really want to know." She slid the file she had gotten earlier across the desk, turned it, and then opened it so he could see the picture inside with the name Isaac Thorpe under it. The man in the picture looked tall and tan with salt and pepper, military cut hair. He was one of those people that you could spot out in a crowd from simply his presence Harry mused, seeing even from the picture that this man had power. "This is the man that runs the Western Sector of Area Twenty-Two's four man team and a few other personnel that come and go. They're in charge of foreign affairs but mostly only deal with in-country foreign diplomats and sometimes criminals if they hold any sort of political power. Thorpe ordered two of his men to _tactfully_ detain you for questioning in hopes of getting you to confess but now that you're aware of their presence he'll slide back into the shadows and get some solid evidence on you before arresting you- not that I'm implying there's any evidence against you." A little wink accompanied her last statement.

The thing was, Harry hadn't broken any laws yet so there really was no evidence to find against him. Why did the American Magical Government think there was then? Was he being framed? No, he quickly realized, or else he'd already be arrested and probably be before a jury at this very moment. So was this just something they did with every war hero coming into the country? If they did then these Americans were ruder than the British media's cartoons of Bill Clinton**.**

Azenet continued on when Harry nodded. He decided it was best not to say anything until all the facts were laid out on the table. "His two agents saw you board my FedEx truck so he decided it was time to call up an old friend. You know how these things go. When he called me, I called my driver and told him to come right over, though I'm sure you thought I was his girlfriend did you not? He's a marvelous actor at the worst of times and at the best I believe he could even fool my own _mwt_ into thinking he was me. Amazing really."

"I see…" Harry mumbled, taking a closer look at Thorpe's picture. The man seemed to have a scar running the length of his nose, Harry noticed, after squinting slightly. That'd be a good way to recognize the man if he ever met him, just in case he decided to dress up like a granny like his lackey did. Magical scars, if that's what Thorpe's was, are incredibly hard to hide. The most you could do was slightly reshape it like he had done to his own with a bit of Transfiguration. "Is there any other information I should know about?"

"You know what I know about this situation, and I will make sure to keep it that way- if you agree to one other condition that is." Of course she'd pull a trick like that. A small motion of his hand indicated for her to continue on. "To ensure my assistance is kept a secret I will need to perform the tongue-tying curse upon you so I can rest assured that there will be no, ah, slip of the tongue. Agreed?"

Harry thought about that for a moment before remembering the reason why he even came to Redmond in the first place- to mail a letter to Draco and Andromeda. Considering that he was in a delivery company run by a magical creature, he could only assume that they also included magical communication. "I need to know about your magical services here at FedEx before I agree, and if there is anything special you can do for me."

Azenet seemed to follow where he was heading since she replied, "We can deliver any letter or package in six minutes to any home address. Our privacy policies are top-notched but I can see what I can do for some added security on anything you need to send considering your circumstances. In fact, for forty dollars, I can give you a Transaction Box where you can place anything smaller then seventeen inches in width and height and we'll receive it here in two minutes. From there we'll send it to your destination."

"Drop it to thirty dollars and you have yourself a deal." After a moment of deliberation, Azenet agreed and placed the spell on him, specified only to the information passed between them. Harry then handed her thirty dollars and two quickly written messages to both Andromeda and Draco simply asking _'Yours?'_ since if it were either of theirs they would understand right away what he was talking about. Plus, that way even if Azenet read it she wouldn't get any information out of him from that. She handed back the shrunken Transaction Box that he placed in his pocket. "Now Ms. Hathor, I do believe I need to escape."

She nodded and stood, motioning for him to follow with a crooked finger gesture. They walked over to the picture above the loveseat and with a mumbled password from Azenet the people inside the diamond started to untwist and melt into quicksilver. In this liquid state, the people dripped out of the painting and left an empty diamond with a hole large enough for a person to crawl through. She turned to him and smiled. "It was a pleasure doing business with you Mr. Black. May steal meld into a better future for you." Then bobbed her head in a nod of respect towards him, and he copied it simply because he didn't know what else to do in this kind of situation. He figured there was some formal dwarven phrase to reply to what she had said but he'd trained for Voldemort, not royal dwarfs trying to manipulate him. So all he said was a short, formal wizard good-bye and crawled into the hole.

"You'll be in Mushroom Kingdom once through Mr. Black! Take the Router anywhere!" Azenet yelled right before he seemed to go through a sort of magical veil and then ended up crawling out of a hole in the floor covered by an empty crate. Harry pushed up against the top lid and found himself in a storage room for alcohol so he guessed from the storage and the noise outside the door that he was in the backroom of a pub. Once outside he realized that he was and from there found out that he was in the magical sector of Redmond that was of course called Mushroom Kingdom. (He learned that everything in the magical sector was based on Nintendo, from the colorful mushroom houses to names of the shops and streets. There was even a supposed secret entrance to the corporate building Harry had heard in the pub about ten times after saying he was new around here. Note to remember: never admit you're a stranger in any tourist towns. They're like hounds on meat. Geezers on free poker night. Children and boogers. You get the point.)

After doing some quick shopping (in which he was constantly looking over his shoulder for enemies) he had a new but awkward wand and a few new warding, spell, and magical creature books along with some other assorted items that claimed to protect him against vampires. He really didn't believe in any of the mumbo jumbo stuff they were selling but he figured one of these items had to at least make Edward stay away for a day or two so he could get his thoughts straight and today obviously didn't count for straitening out thoughts. Not only did he have more information running madly through his head in a jumbled mess of words than he ever had in all his time at Hogwarts, but he had to worry about the government, Draco, and the letter still in his bedroom. There was no room to worry about blood sucker Edward, his romantic ploy to get more information out of Harry (if that really what it was, and it wasn't, but Harry's a bit dense concerning these things) or result of said ploy that had Harry squirming every time he thought about said bloke. (He had blamed the stomach virus that was running around his muggle school at first- actually he tried to say it was the virus up until a few hours later when he had yet to throw up but even then he refused to blame the obvious answer.)

Harry boarded the Router, a magical train-like vehicle hooked up to every town in America except for those in Hawaii and Alaska, after cursing Edward's name in the local wand crafter's mushroom. On there he thought back to those bags still partly packed in his bedroom that he had thrown together after planning to go back to Hogwarts last night and end this crazy chapter of his life. It would solve most of his problems he figured, except for his new debt to Azenet Hathor but he could come when called and then go straight back to his (no where near) peaceful life with Hermione, Ron, and the rest of the Weasleys. And it really wasn't like he had wanted to go to a muggle school in the first place. He had cursed at the teacher when he had found out if he remembered correctly, so why then did a similar squirming feeling to the one he got when he thought about Edward overcome him every time he started thinking about leaving? Harry didn't know what to think of this so he didn't; he just told himself that once he found his wand he was gone. Hopefully one of his new books would help with his last problem.

A little bit later, as it was inching towards seven o'clock, he had to look for Bella and Jessica in town because he highly doubted they would have left without him. And they hadn't, but they had run into a bit of trouble with a group of guys in the back alleys. Though luckily for them, Superman had come to their rescue. Well that's how they now both perceived Edward. This knowledge had put Harry even further on the alert, but relaxed slightly when they said Edward left immediately after finding out Harry wasn't with them. That at least assured Harry that Edward was only interested in him like the vampire had told him no matter how disastrous that should be.

Then, after a long and awkward ride full of giggling girls that thought he had gotten contacts to impress a girl (one girl in particular actually- Helen Wilkins), he lugged his things to his room and instantly changed his hair and eye color back to normal. Luckily he had remembered to put his cap back on to cover his hair before they noticed that too, but he did wonder when he had dropped his sunglasses.

Soon after that he went straight to the books to look for spells he could use to find his original wand so he'd be better armed when the American magical government came back, because like all governments, they _would_ come back and they _would_ bring reinforcements. As he came upon another spell only useful if you were a hairdresser for goblins he heard a soft ding coming from the still shrunken box in his pocket. He instantly got it out and turned it back to its normal size (though he noticed a slight delay in the spell's detonation time that was obviously due to the Satyr hair core in his new wand) to see why it made that noise. On the box it had the number one shinning with the word 'Unread' next to it, so he inferred that he had gotten a response from either Draco of Andromeda. He was right, it was from Andromeda.

_Teddy misses you._

That was it but that said all Andromeda needed to say. First off, it told Harry who the sender was but it also told him that she understood that he was in trouble (he did use a half assed version of secret code after all) and wanted him to come home immediately. Though that meant that she also wasn't the sender of the mysterious letter.

The letter!

Harry sprung up from his bed and ran to the empty windowsill, looking down at the spot where he had left the letter laying before he had gone to Redmond. It had completely passed him to make sure the letter was still where he had left it, but that could be blamed on how worn out he was from using so much wandless magic in one day. Still, this ranked pretty high on his stupidity meter; probably falling just below eating Azenet's sandwich and sending the PECT list to Draco. Now the question was, who broke into his room and took it?

And as if Irony needed to make sure it showed itself a few more times in the story of Harry Potter's life, the number one popped back onto the Transaction Box to tell him he had received another letter. He turned and stared, hoping that maybe the mysterious letter had just resent itself to him. As crazy as that idea was, he was sorely depressed when he saw that it hadn't. On the new letter it read:

_The stupidity of Gryffindors never ceases to amaze me._

That was Draco's way of saying that yes, the very important letter that was now missing in action was in fact from him.

And now you understand the true meaning of 'Royally Fucked'.

Unfortunately, now Harry does too.

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**Notes- **

_Azenet Hathor_- Both are Ancient Egyptian names though I only know that Azenet means _Follower of Neith.  
__Mwt_- This is how you pronounce _mother_ is Egyptian, and since they spell it in hieroglyphics, I had no choice but to write it like that  
_Redmond_- This is where Nintendo's American headquarters is so I decided to pull the company's magical elements into the magical sectors of Redmond and that's where I got names such as Mushroom Kingdom. Not original per say but I figured it's something wizard's would do.  
_Bill Clinton-_ I don't know if I mentioned this before or not but this story follows the Harry Potter timeline so when Harry's eighteen, Bill Clinton would still be President of the United States. Twilight's timeline is pushed back a few years to match to Harry's timeline basically.

So I didn't think the American government would also use names like "Department of Mysteries" and when I thought of the famous Area Fifty-One I had one of those light bulb moments. Actually, it was more of BAM! But really, the fact is I want to know what you think of it. Include what you think about the government being behind it too because I know I caught a few of you by surprise! Then there are those others that guessed it right off the bat and I wanted to strangle you because I thought I was so cool with coming up with this twist. Thanks for bursting my bubble you monkeys!

Oh and sorry there was no Edward in the chapter but I really wanted the focus to be on Azenet and the government. Also I thought I could use the opportunity to explain Harry's feelings for Edward a little more since he'd no doubt be constantly thinking of the newly discovered vampire.

And just to make you readers go insane, I'd like to say that there is a few words in one sentence that gives a HUGE clue to one of the main plots in my story. They're quite obvious if you know what you're looking for but since most of you don't, another heart attack is in store for you in the coming chapters! Isn't that a fun thing to look forward to?

**Please review! **


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